The qualities of a “Good” Man

“Your gonna’ grow up and be just like your father!” Much more than a forecast of an unfortunate demise, but this and other comments have rendered me as screwed up as I am today. A personal goal I have set is to be nothing like my father; the question why can be debated later on a damn’ NBC mini-series, or a rather entertaining episode of the Maury Povic show. Anger, dishonesty, cowardice and weakness are traits we can all do without, but thanks to heredity my father embraces them, like his father did and so on. With a healthy share of negative male influences around me, I can accurately judge what qualities make a “good” man, taking into consideration the fact that ones definition of “good” varies from one person to the next.

A good man should posses all the traits you can attribute with “good.” A “good” man should be honest. A man is not a man if he tells stories like a small boy. A “good” man should be fun to hang out with, have a sense of humor, and be someone you can just sit and talk with. A “good” man isn’t overly dull and should be the kind of person who can take a joke, even if the joke isn’t humorous because it may have racist or sexist content. Nobody ever said there’s anything wrong with a “smile” and a “wave.” A “good” man can rise above the fact that the world is full of ignorance, accept reality for what it is and rise above his human tendency to be offended and seek retaliation. Scientific tests find that an organism that reacts on impulse alone is defined as an animal, and men are not animals, or at least most of them.

A “good” man can effectively use his animal instinct to get whatever he wants out of life. The animal instinct in a man is the single element that separates the men from the boys, and help prove sometimes “good” can mean “bad” at the same time. Its this animal instinct that can reduce you to a street vagrant, or empower you to become a rich and powerful stock broker or lawyer. The principle is as simple as why the neighbor’s dog has to urinate on that fire hydrant every single time he runs by during those early morning jogs. In order to get ahead in this world, you have to use that animal instinct, that special something that puts you ahead of the rest, to the best of your ability. You may at some point have to stab some backs or break someone’s heart in the process to keep from slowing your momentum. The “Homies,” or the group of 21st century top selling rap artists (i.e. puff daddy, master p), would describe this animal instinct as a person who could “represent.” But at what point do you stop “represent”-ing in order to “keep it real?”

A “good” man doesn’t sacrifice being honest to him self or others in order to remain “cool.” This is a very relevant and ever present way of life in American culture today. Especially among teenagers, sacrificing your beliefs to ensure a position among a high social rank is a very problematic situation. In some cases ignorance inhibits the fact that everything you do, you’re doing to be cool. When everyone around you acts a certain way, you’re fooled into thinking that it’s right. There is a point where one must capitalize on an opportunity because of personal choice, not influence. When a man learns why breaking away from the flock is a better alternative, he can take part in the greener grasses that await him. Having a sense of originality is almost like roving blinders. Originality can make you see things in a new light.

A “good” man can also empathize very well. The ability to see from other people’s perspectives can get you a lot further than stubbornness. This ability also sets a pathway for learning. If you can look at a situation with an open point of view instead of looking at it objectively by questioning its validation, you concentrate on what makes that situation different from others. By contrasting and comparing, you can make judgments on what actions or words you may have used to improve or provoke a situation, and use them to improve the way you interact with others.

A “good” man is a civil human that can successfully interact with other human beings. The one fundamentally sound idea of man is the freedom to interact with other normal people. When you use social skills, manage yourself and your emotions, you set a foundation for developing a unique personality. Through this you can get what all men are after…women.