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My Personal Interpersonal Communications Philosophy

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Communication skills are all around us, from the day we are born until the rest of our lives. How many times have you seen communication skills required for a job in the classifieds and wonder what it actually means. A communication skill is some type of skill used in communication, from talking, body language to even listening. Many things can affect the way one can convey his or her communication skills to others. All of these skills are very personnel to one another. Everyone has different ways of expressing some kind of communication skill within them.

Interpersonal Communication is the process through which people create and manage their relationships, exercising mutual responsibility in creating meaning. Communication can however be broken down by several means. The factors which may lead to a breakdown of communication may include the type of body language used, the inability to meet the face needs of the other party, or maybe just a simple misunderstanding of the actual intended meaning during the conversation. The following are three effective communication techniques that I will implement in my life going forward.

One interpersonal communication that stood out for me in the readings in this class was maintaining the self in communication. It is always important to maintain who you are as a person no matter what circumstance you find yourself in. Being something that you are not takes effort while being yourself takes virtually no effort at all. If you go forward with the attitude that we all have imperfections, you won’t feel the need to embellish who you are. “

Regardless of culture or ethnicity, we’re all struggling with similar issues. In short, regardless of who you are the great commandment is to maintain the self.” (Barrett, pg. 92) This statement basically summed up how we should all live our lives. Embellishing who you are isn’t something we do with malice. It is something we do subconsciously. I know in my case it is something I would do without thinking. I always felt like I wouldn’t be well received if I allowed certain aspects of who I am to be known. After reading this excerpt it definitely opened my eyes to what I was doing and I will definitely be ready to open up and be myself more to people.

The second interpersonal communication skill that I will take away from this class is mindful listening. I will admit that this is something that I will take much effort on my part. I tend to zone out and not focus on things that I don’t find important to me. I not only do this in conversations or meeting but I also do this in written format as well. I scan emails instead of reading them in their entirety. This has caused me to miss key details that have been important to completing the task I needed to complete. If I continue down this path, I know that this will only be to my detriment. Being a good listener is key to effective communication. I will learn to not become so easily distracted by things. I will learn to absorb what is being communicated to me. “The challenge will be to see the others views, and accept it as valid whether we agree with it or not” (Shafir, pp 219) I will definitely go forward and take things that I once disregarded more seriously. This did nothing more than serve as a hindrance and blocking me from opportunities whether it be in the workplace or in my home life.

The final interpersonal communication skill that I will take away from this class is to avoid defensive communication. This is another hindrance for me and something that I will have to work extremely hard at overcoming. I have lived a life where I always feel like if I’m too nice then people will run all over me. I have thus created this tough girl barrier so that if someone tries to take advantage of me, I will be prepared. I am easily offended and think that anything someone says or does could potentially be said or done to bring harm to me. “When you anticipate or perceive that you are threatened by a person or situation, you will usually react defensively, and so will other persons involved.” (Gibb, pp 401) I had no idea that it was in fact me who was creating most of the conflict around me. I can’t have the attitude that everything is going to be a battle and that I must come armed to fight. Going forward I will learn that not everyone is out to get me and that there are a lot of decent people in this world. I will remove those barriers and let my guard down and allow people to know me as a person.

I intend to meet the face needs of others while communicating with them. Also I have realized that while communicating with others, one should remember that we develop a sense of self, we influence and are influenced by others. As a result, we should be careful about the connotative meanings of the words we choose to use, and also we should be assertive in manner, so as to avoid a breakdown in communication.


Stewart, J. (2008) Bridges Not Walls. A Book About Interpersonal Communication.

Tenth Ed.

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