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Her big chance

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Lesley is a young actress, who as other actors is trying her very best to make big time. Lesley tries to come across as being a caring, sensitive, and witty but professional individual. However as we discover in the monologue, she is actually a very insecure lonely person, who has created a false persona about her in order to succeed. The monologue is an extended dramatic speech, narrated from a single view point.

The writer has written the monologue in this was so as to give Lesley the control over what readers envisage of her. As a result the audience are given an extremely subjective view of Lesley. The writer is able to manipulate the readers so as to force a image of Lesley on to them, yet also inviting the readers to form their own opinion of Lesley, from what is implied through the language used rather than basing our opinion on what we are unambiguously told.

Lesley is quite apparently convinced that she is a socialist and someone who can explicitly talk to anyone she may meet. She says “Now my hobby is people. I collect people”. She takes it upon her self to introduce her self to people who she considers to be “interesting”. “So when is saw this interesting-looking man in the corner, next thing is I find myself talking to him”.

She sees her self as being someone who is genuinely interested in individuals, however in reality she is usually just trying to impresses people or simply belittles them by telling them how much of a great person she is. The absurdity of her conversational openings and the fact that she really doesn’t understand people is identified when she is talking to Spud. She says “You look like an interesting person. I’m interested in interesting people”. Her excessive use of the word implies to the readers that she her self is at all an interesting person, but a dull, tedious individual. How like to hear her self talk.

She tries to come across as a charming intellectual, yet she has to read book on personality. The irony of this is echoed throughout the monologue. The mere fact that she has to read the books on personality implies that she is not the great socialist and a good judge of character, that she would have people believe. Lesley is constantly contradicting what she say, which can be seen through her behaviour. She believe her self a good judge of character, however she is continually misjudging people intentions. This is reinforced throughout the monologue as on numerous occasions she ends up in bed with a member of the cast. Lesley tells Kenny that the kind of evening she likes is just “two people just talking about something interesting”, despite the fact that it is clear to the reader that he is only interested in one thing, and that is her body.

A further contradiction of her personality comes as she stereotypes and categorise those whom she meets. She consider her self to be a moral and an over all acceptant person of all. Her feelings towards homosexuals are revealed in several remarks she made towards Scott. “I normally like them only I think he’s one of the ones that it turned bitter”. This highlights her prejudice and a lack of understanding of other people. She also assumes that all men that show no sexual interest in her are no doughtily homosexuals. “I think he may have been gay too, he had a moustache” again highlighting her prejudice and stereotypical view of society.

Lesley would also like to consider her self of as clear headed and learned person and open to opinion, however she only believe what she wants to. This aspect of her personality is identified when she is fooled in to believing that Gunter is actually an artist and that his work is great. “A real artist”, perhaps she only sees what she wants because she does not want to be associated with the truth. By believing what she wants to she is able to protect her reality and continues to fool her self, so that she does not have to face up and deal with the reality.

Lesley also prides her self on her professionalism, “professional to the finger tips”. She is thoroughly convinced that she is a true professional, and will do anything her job may require of her. “I’m not a smoker. I mean, I can smoke if a part requires it. I’m a professional”. When Nigel tells her that the name of her character is not important she replies by saying “It is to me. It’s all I’ve got to build on”. She seem like she genuinely needs to know the name of her character. However it is appertain to the readers that she is only inquiring about the characters name give the impression of professionalism.

A career as an actress is probably the most important thing to her and she will do anything to achieve her goals in her career. She gets as involved in the film as much as possible she says that she “tries to get as involved as possible”. To achieve the success she wants she will do what ever she can whether it be learning to ski or even learning a new language. Her attitude towards her career has to one of her most reliable attribute in that she. When the filming ad finished she said she had “become so identified with Travis, it was only hen she’d had a bath and freshened up she felt her self loosening her hold on Travis”. This may be some what over the top however I believe that she id trying her hardest to succeed.

Lesley needs to convince the audience and her self that she knows what she is talking about and that she if familiar with the film and TV jargon, in order to seem as professional as possible. By making references to words such as “on can” and “wrapped” she is able to achieve the effect she requires however she destroys the effect and returns to the same old Lesley when she begins to explain the meanings of the words. If she had have credited the audience with at least some common knowledge she would have been able to seem more professional.

The overall effects of the monologue being in the format that it is, first person perspective is that allows the narrator to create what ever image of her self she wants. However the audience can come to their own conclusions as to whether the image being portrayed is the same image that is being conveyed in the way in which the language is being used and the type of language being used by the narrator.

Lesley has come across as someone who has some deep seeded psychological problems that have made the way she is. A frightened and insecure young person, who does not want to face up to the reality that she is not what she, would make her self and others believe. By creating a false persona about her person she is able hide her fears and continue to portray an image of her self so that she does not have to face up to her fears. With out facing her fears she will never be able to over come them.

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