A Synopsis Of The Movie

Once Tom and Summer started to go through the intensifying stage, they became extremely notionally intertwined by exchanging many different things, such as personal thoughts on issues, sexual activity, and being in the personal space of each other. Before the relationship occurred, she told him that they were just friends, and Summer realized Tom was falling for her. She would constantly tell him that they were just friends with benefits and she didn’t want anything long term, a prime example of undermining the assurance tactic to maintain a healthy relationship.

Tom still did not perceive this the same at all. During the connection, Tom would always try and maintain the relationship, while Summer loud constantly avoid it. He was so emotionally connected that he did not realize what was happening to him. He would say and do things that implied they were in a relationship. Would represent them as a relationship. For example he pretended that they were married in the appliance store, and acted as if they were a happy old couple. Tom would also fall victim of selective listening, a form of incompetent listening.

He was only hearing the things that he wanted to hear, which caused him to fall into a deep emotional trance with Summer. The termination of Tom and Summer’s relationship was caused by different receptions concerning their affair. In this case, Summer was the one that didn’t want the relationship. In society today, it is usually the men that do not want a relationship. When Tom and Summer were in the diner, Summer compared herself to Sad, and compared Tom to Nancy. This example explains how the gender roles and perceptions are completely twisted in the relationship.

Summer perceived the relationship as her being the one who held power and dominance, while Tom was the one that was always fighting to maintain it. The different perceptions on the relationship caused Tom to become very vulnerable. He was receiving everything as if it was perfect, when in reality the relationship was not. He thought he needed to stand up for Summer at the bar because of the relationship status he perceived they had. Tom was perceiving the relationship as positively as he could. He would never recognize the slowly terminating bond.

Summer would constantly use “l” language when communicating about them together, and he would use “We” language. An example of this would be when he told her that, ‘We should go to the movies” she responded by saying, “I don’t want to go to a movie. ” Summer would also make up excuses because she didn’t ant to hang out with him by saying, “I’m tired. I’m just going to go home. ” She would even pull away her hand in public when Tom would try to show public affection towards her. The last example is when Summer invited him to the party after they broke up.

His perception was that they were going to get back together and live happily ever after. Her perception on the invite was that she felt like she needed to invite him because she still wanted to maintain that friendship. During the party, Summer was showing little to no interest towards Tom at all. She was showing non-verbal cues of the “friend zone” by sitting within a social pace, and engaging him with a friendship warmth touch when she greeted him at the door. He was still so caught up in his emotions that he perceived this in a totally different way.

While at the party he noticed her wedding ring, and from that point on Tom realized that he got caught up in a relationship that was perceived to be mutual, but was mostly one sided. To conclude, Tom focused on the good times he had rather than the lack of affection Summer was showing him throughout their relationship. Tom perceived Summer to be the one for him, but in the end she was completely the opposite. The gender and perception played a role uncommon to what we usually in society today. The guy was fighting to keep the relationship going when this is usually the women.

This caused Tom to fight till the bitter end for the relationship, and not realize all the negative communication that was going on throughout their affair. All of this resulted in the termination of Tom and Summer’s relationship. Essay 2 The movie, “500 Days Of Summer” has numerous examples dealing with Interpersonal Communication. Tom and Summers relationship is a prime example of relationship development and deterioration. The relationship came gather through a sequence of events that Mark Knapp put together called the “Coming Together” stage of a relationship.

Tom and Summer came together by initiating, experimentation, intensifying, integrating, and bonding. The first stage of Nape’s coming together process is initiation. Initiation is when an individual sizes up the person he or she has met, and draws various conclusions to determine whether one finds him or her attractive. In the movie, Tom approached this part by examining Summer and coming to the conclusion that she was very attractive, and very friendly. Tom and Summer eventually came to he second stage in the process, called experimenting. Experimenting is when one starts communication, usually “small talk”.

Summer starts up the small talk in the elevator by commenting about the music Tom was listening to. Once Tom figured out that she was very friendly and liked the same type of music as him, he attempted to create more conversations. He did this by playing their favorite artist, ‘The Smith,” out loud at work in an attempt to gain Summers attention. Another example would be when Tom attempted to create more connections by engaging in small talk with Summer at their work party. This then led the OTOH of them to the intensifying stage, which is when a couple experiences strong feelings of attractions towards one another.

A prime example of this would be when Summer was self-disclosing her thoughts towards Tom. She did this by explaining her very personal dreams to him. Summer was intensifying the relationship by saying, “l have never told anybody that before. ” This caused a growth in their relationship by creating that sense of security towards each other. Another Example of this would be when Summer and Tom started to show physical expressions. They were at an appliance store and they were eliding hands while walking around and looking at appliances.

Tom and Summer also started to engage in sexual activity which intensified the emotion in the relationship. During this stage, Tom started to incorporate ‘we’ language when him and Summer would communicate. An example of this would be when he asked Summer to go to the movies; he asked her if “we should go,” rather than saying “l want to go. ” The fourth stage of the process is integrating, which is the most important part of Summer and Tom’s relationship. The integrating stage is when a couple’s personalities become one. Tom and Summer’s relationship was eating very serious at this point.

An example of this would be when Tom was at the coffee shop with his buddies, and they were referring to them as a couple not just a “thing’. This was also the turning point in their relationship because Tom started to struggle with dialectical tension of connectedness versus autonomy. Tom let himself get way too connected in the relationship. When the relationship ended he didn’t know what to do, because he made his world revolve around Summer. The last stage of Nape’s process is the bonding stage, which is when a couple announces that they have committed to each other.