Dysfunctional Ever After

Some women strive for attention, and would pay any price to get it, but not all attention seekers do so because of personality disorders. Most sacrifice some of their personal values for the sake of attention. Therefore this usually is the result of an underlying disorder. Ariel Schulman, Henry Joost, and Yaniv Schulman, Ariel’s brother, are the filmmakers that created Catfish, a documentary showing how even a seemingly normal, but troubled housewife who spent the majority of her days caring for two severely handicapped stepsons all the while creating an elaborate web of online deception until reality came crashing in (2010). In author Helen Shulman’s short story, “Parents’ Night,” she gives readers a detailed glimpse of how far a married woman will go to seek the desired attention she craves from her not yet divorced previous husband (2008). Do they do it for the thrill, the need or are they seeking this additional attention for greater reasons? The film Catfish and the short novel, “Parents’ Night, both displayed abnormal behaviors of two seemingly normal married women.

In today’s social society, who and what is real? Karen Dill, a psychologist at Fielding Graduate University in Santa Barbara says, “In real life, how close you are to someone dictates the intimacy of your disclosure. Disclosure is a choice and it is a socially meaningful one.” The filmmakers of Catfish and author Helen Schulman, both show how the rules of disclosure and exposure have changed. Angela Wesselman, the troubled housewife in Catfish, clearly shows that her disclosure was open to a certain extent, she only revealed minimum truth to Yaniv. Throughout the course of the movie she fabricates her entire relationship with Yaniv and habitually lies to her husband. She takes her tangled web of lies so far as to include her daughter, friends, both real and fictitious, and other members of her family just to continue to pursue the manipulating relationship with Yaniv.

In “Parents’ Night,” the mismanaged first marriage comes to light by the narrator. “He still was my husband. I’d never told anybody in my real life about him and I’d never bothered to divorce him. My secret, secret (Schulman 158).” The secretive narrator fails to disclose the information to her current husband about being married to someone else. This act shows her lack of honesty, respect and decency. According to Michael J. Formica, psychotherapist, teacher and writer, “Rather than doing the inner work necessary to assess our vulnerability and to gather the intimacy that we so desire, it’s often easier to seek out the false intimacy of a shadow relationship.” Both the narrator in “Parents’ Night,” and Angela in Catfish have overlooked the option of looking inside themselves for intimacy only to take an easier approach by leading false lives built on lies. In addition to the blatant disregard of the truth from Angela, and the narrator of “Parents’ Night,” somewhere underneath the piles of lies is an underlying problem.

The characters may additionally be seeking these abnormal relationships to cover their flaws. Joseph M. Carver is a psychologist that stated in an online article in November 2008, “Individuals that behave in this manner are starved for attention, typically any kind of attention, but especially from the opposite sex.” In Catfish, Angela created numerous false online personalities to pursue a relationship with Yaniv. She used the personas as her gateway to a fantasy life because she felt overwhelmed and bored with her own life. Similarities are also found in the narrator of “Parents’ Night,” except for the fact that her different lives are real, and not just fictitious online profiles. She also goes to great lengths to deceive her husband, and has two sides. She lives one way around her husband and daughter, and upon seeing her ex-husband she starts to act like the person that her ex-husband seemed to know long ago.

For example, her ex-husband suggested that they step out on the play terrace for a smoke, and she admitted that she is a secret smoker too, in addition to the joint rolled up in her lipstick case that she scored from the pizza guy, just in case the reception got too hard for her (Shulman 159). Lastly, the percentage of men that actually fall for Facebook scams is greater than the percentage of women falling for false personas. Chenda Ngak says, “According to the findings of CBS, 64.2 percent of women rejected Facebook requests compared to 55.4 percent of men. When an attractive woman’s photo was associated with the profile, men were more likely to accept the friend requests.” Yaniv stated in the film Catfish that “They seem like a normal family, at least on Facebook (2010).” Yaniv fell into Angela’s web of lies, but he also continued to participate in conversation knowing that Megan may not be who she says she is. Yaniv continued to speak with Megan even though he knew that there were holes in Megan’s story.

He even went as far as to cut out her head, and pasted it next to a picture of himself as if they had already met. The “Parents’ Night” narrator situation is similar because the ex-husband, Mike clearly entertains and flirts with his ex-wife. Giving her slight hope as if they could be friends. For example, he states, “It was us together. The combo was a killer. You were the worst drug of my life (Schulman 159).” He knows that this is someone who would be no good for him, but he continues to travel down memory lane in conversation with her. In conclusion, the line between fantasy and fiction is very thin for most people.

Angela from the film Catfish was so unhappy with her life that she created a new one plus a few friends to come along for the ride of lie after lie. She clearly has serious attention issues which she would go to great lengths to have and keep. In “Parents’ Night” the narrator gives you a vibe of a normal mother, and wife. Only to discover that she is a tangled mess of deception also. She lies to her family, but only about her real past life and a few others indulgences that she enjoys. Both characters have a behavior that will not subside over time. It has the possibility for change, but it will not disappear.

Works Cited

Carver, Joseph M. “Ask the Psychologist.” : Online Clinical Psychologist. Ed. Greg Mulhauser. CR Health, Nov. 2008. Web. 06 Nov. 2012. <http://askthepsych.com/atp/2008/11/13/starved-for-male-attention/>. Catfish. Dir. Joost, Henry, and Ariel Schulman. Perf. Yaniv Schulman, Angela

Wesselman-Pierce, and Ariel Schulman. Relativity Media. 2010. DVD Dill, Karen. “How Fantasy Becomes Reality.” Digital Intimacy. N.p., 9 June 2011. Web. 06 Nov. <http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/how-fantasy-becomes-reality/201106/digital-intimacy>. Formica, Michael J. “Enlightened Living.” Understanding Emotional Infidelity. N.p., 23 June 2011. Web. 06 Nov. 2012. <http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/enlightened-living/201106/understanding-emotional-infidelity>. Koeings, Michael. “9 Tips for Identifying Fake Online Profiles.” ABC News. ABC News Network, 26 Aug. 2011. Web. 06 Nov. 2012. <http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/tips-identifying-fake-facebook-profiles/story?id=14379498>. Ngak, Chenda. “Men More Likely to Fall for Facebook