My Life

Kalisa: Hi, this is Layla. I have finished my essay about an argument and am sending it to you now. We can talk about it in class. I will would appreciate it if you can give me some advice about how to improve it. Layla

Direction:

Read the statement and the instructions that follow it, and then make any notes that will help you plan your response. Now is the perfect time to buy a house in our city. Over the past five years, average home prices in our region have nearly doubled. But average stock prices in the national stock market have actually declined over the same period. So homeowners have seen an increase in value for their housing investment during the last five years that far exceeds what they could have made by investing in the stock market.

Our city’s residents can surely achieve a similar profit over the next five years. Furthermore, if residents invest in a home, they can enjoy the use of the home while its value increases, whereas money invested in stocks would not contribute to their quality of life in the same way that owning a home would. Therefore, all the residents of our city should invest their money in a home. In your opinion, how accurate is the view expressed above? Explain, using reasons and examples based on your own experience, observations, or reading.

My essay:

The argument asserted that it is a good time to invest in real estate because to invest in a house is a better choice than to invest in the stock market for two reasons. First, investors can get more profit from a house under this these circumstances (or IN this circumstance) where average home prices have doubled while average stock prices have declined over the past five years. Secondly, unlike the investment on the stock market, the investment on in the real estate would improve the investors’ quality of life and take advantage of the usage of the home. However, these two reasons are deficient and unconvincing, which can be proved by the following reasons.

To begin with, the requirements to buy a house are different from those to buy a stock. In general, it is expensive and even prodigal to invest on in the real estate compared to the stock market. In fact, not everyone can buy a house without a mortgage or loan whereas most people can enter into the stock market with an account and a few notional principles, just like a deposit in a bank.

In this situation, the stock market is more accessible than the house market. Moreover, it takes more time and energy to search for a suitable and comfortable house than to find out a profitable stock if investors take both the function and value of a house into consideration. Therefore, due to the lack of consideration on of the more and higher standards to invest on in the real estate than to invest on the stock market, the author’s description is uncompleted incomplete so that his conclusion can notcannot be perfectly proved.

In addition, the history of when the investment on in the real estate is was more profitable than that on in the stock market cannot be a strongly reliable and perfect proof to expect the similar conditions in the future. to be in a similar condition-.

In addition, the history (when investment on in the real estate is was more profitable than that on in the stock market) cannot be a strongly reliable and or perfect proof to expect the similar conditions in the future. to be in a similar condition. In addition, the history, when investment in real estate was more profitable than that in the stock market, cannot be strongly reliable or perfect proof to expect similar conditions in the future.

Although, as we all know, the history may help investors to predict the future tendency tendencies of the future, investors should pay more attention on to the present. If the government contends that the high price of the a home may dissatisfy and even enrage local citizens and sets up a regulation to limit the boost of the real estate, the price of houses in future may decrease rapidly and the value of the present houses hold held by homeowners may also depreciate.

Last but not least, the enjoyment of the use of the home and the improvement on in the quality of life are also conditional and uncertain. A Homehome, a place that where a family lives, means a lot for the family members so that the homeowner would like to decorate his or her house beautifully and wonderfully. That may spend incur additional costs and expenses, so improving the quality of life may consume and even eat up a lot from profits already made by the investment on in the house.

Therefore, the author’s conclusion that it is a perfect opportunity to invest on in the real estate rather than on in the stock market is not well-founded for the reasons listed above. The evidence in support of the conclusion does little to prove the conclusion since it does not address the assumptions and possibilities I have already raised.