Abuse and Violence Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence Against Women is a global issue reaching across national boundaries as well as socio­economic, cultural, racial and class distinctions. It is a problem without frontiers. Not only is the problem widely dispersed geographically, but its incidence is also extensive, making it a typical and accepted behavior. Only recently, within the past twenty­five years, has the issue been “brought into the open as a field of concern and study” Domestic violence is not an isolated, individual event but rather a pattern of repeated behaviors that the abuser uses to gain power and control over the victim. Unlike stranger­to­stranger violence, in domestic violence situations the same perpetrator repeatedly assaults the same victim.

These assaults are often in the form of physical injury, but may also be in the form of sexual assault. However the abuse is not only physical and sexual, but also psychological. Psychological abuse means intense and repetitive humiliation, creating isolation, and controlling the actions of the victim through intimidation or manipulation. Domestic violence tends to become more frequent and severe over time. Oftentimes the abuser is physically violent sporadically, but uses other controlling tactics on a daily basis. All tactics have profound effects on the victim.

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Perpetrators of domestic violence can be found in all age, racial, ethnic, cultural, socioeconomic, linguistic, educational, occupational and religious groups. Domestic violence is found in all types of intimate relationships whether the individuals are of the same or opposite sex, are married or dating, or are in a current or past intimate relationship. There are two essential elements in every domestic violence situation: the victim and abuser have been intimately involved at some point in time, and the abuser consciously chooses to use violence and other abusive tactics to gain control over the victim. In some instances, the abuser may be female while the victim is male; domestic violence also occurs in gay and lesbian relationships. However, 95% of reported assaults on spouses or ex­spouses are committed by men against women (MTCA e­mail interview) “It is a terrible and recognizable fact that for many people, home is the least safe place.”

Domestic violence is real violence, often resulting in permanent injuries or death. Battering is a widespread societal problem with consequences reaching far beyond individual families. It is conduct that has devastating effects for individual victims, their children and their communities. In addition to these immediate effects, there is growing evidence that violence within the “family becomes the breeding ground for other social problems such as substance abuse, juvenile delinquency, and violent crimes of all types” (MTCA e­mail interview). Domestic violence against women is not merely a domestic issue; but, rather a complex socio­economical crisis that threatens the interconnected equilibrium of the entire social structure.

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There are many causes and effects of domestic violence. “Within the family there is a historical tradition condoning violence.” Domestic violence against women accounts for approximately 40 to 70% of all violent crime in North America. However, the figures  don’t tell the entire story; less than 10% of such instances are actually reported to police. The causes of domestic violence against women are numerous. Many claim stress is the substantial cause of domestic conflict resulting in violence. Though stress in the workplace is a contributing factor, it is by no means the substantial one. Many people suffer from stress disorders, but most don’t resort to violence as a means of release. It is apparent that the substantial causes have more to do with the conditioning of males culturally, and within

the family of orientation than anything else. Historically, women have been treated more as belongings than human beings; Old English Common Law permitted a man to abuse his wife and kids, as long as he didn’t use a stick thicker than the width of his thumb­­”Rule of

Thumb.” Culturally, men have been conditioned to repress their feelings of emotion­­always acting like the tough guy, the linebacker, the cowboy. But, when confronted with an emotionally difficult conflict, one which is impossible to shove down deep, they irrupt in volcanic proportions, often taking out years of repressed rage on those closest to them, in particular their own family. However, what seems to be the most significant cause of the male tactic of violent conflict resolution is violence within the family of orientation. Statistics show that 73% of male abusers had grown up in a family where they saw their mother beaten, or experienced abuse themselves (MTCA e­mail interview). Using the (relatively accepted) Freudian model, which claims that all mental illness stems from traumatic childhood trauma, one can see how there is a direct correlation between violence in  the family of orientation and violence within the family of procreation.

And, indeed, abusers are mentally ill, though the illness tends to be more subtle than others: many abusers display a Jekyll & Hyde personality, where they are nothing like their domestic selves outside the home. In most cases the cycle of violence starts slowly; it usually consists of a slap in the face or a hard shove. But the frequency and degree of violence escalates with time. The abuser will justify the abuse by pointing out his wife’s inadequacies and faults. But, no matter how wrong the wife is, there is little, if no, justification for spousal abuse within a civil society. The real issue at hand is the neurosis within the male psyche. Just as in rape, the key issue is control. Male abusers are laden with fear about losing power. They inflict physical abuse on their spouse to prove that they have, still have, and will have control over their spouses (and/or children.) They won’t stop there either.

The pattern of abuse involves severe mental torture and humiliation­­blaming, threatening, ignoring, isolating, forcing sex, monitoring phone calls, and restricting any form of social life. It is a vicious cycle of abuse, where the wife is almost literally chained to the husband. Her self­esteem has been obliterated. She is financially, emotionally, and functionally helpless. She is incapable of reaching out for help for herself or for her children. At this point the abuse gets more routine; the abuser sites his partner’s pathetic state as more reason to beat her. And the victim sinks deeper, and more beatings ensue.

She has been infected with psychological­AIDS; she has no defense (“immune system”) to combat the disease of abuse. For women, escaping an abusive relationship is VERY difficult. And the abuse usually doesn’t stop at the discretion of the male. An in­depth study of all one­on­one murder and nonnegligent manslaughter cases in Canada from 1980 to 1984 found that 62% of  female victims were killed by a male partner. It is painfully clear that victims have little but two choices: leave or die. Sadly, the latter is the easier one.

Domestic violence against women must be perceived as a socio­economical problem rather than a private issue imbedded within family ­­ a domestic issue which can be easily ignored. It must receive appropriate attention from the various institutions within our society as an issue affecting the overall standard of living. It is not only a women’s issue, but also a problem that threatens the harmony within our communities.

After learning about domestic violence it has opened my eyes to many things. I always knew that it was a problem but I never really understood what it entailed as well as the causes and effects and the statics about it. I think after learning about domestic violence more people need to stand up against it. I believe that domestic violence can slowly be helped one by one. A lot of people are afraid to say something when they know someone is being abused so it continues to happens. If everyone that knew that something was happening spoke up there would be less statistics within domestic violence. Standing up against one domestic case would decrease the statics more than people would think. Domestic violence is a cycle, someone gets hurt, they say sorry, the people that find out don’t tell anyone, and the victim gets hurt again but worse. The cycle a lot of the time is endless, that is why people need to stand up against it and say something when they know something. “ If you think it’s abusive then it definitely is. Don’t report the abuse for yourself, do it for  them. A minute phone call could save someone’s life” ­Dr. Phill

Bibliography:

1. Carrillo, Roxanna, Battered Dreams, UNIFEM, 1992

2. Connors, Jane Francis, Violence Against Women in the Family, Toronto, 1989

3. Facts About Domestic Violence, “http://gladstone.uoregon.edu.violence.html” 4. Jarman, F.E., et al, The Living Family: a Canadian Perspective, J. Wiley & Sons, Toronto,
1991

5. Kantor, Paula, Domestic Violence Against Women: A Global Issue, UNC Press, 1996

6. Ed. by: Koblinsky, Marge, et al, In the Health of Women: A Global Perspective, Westview Press, 1993

7. Ed. by: Koblinsky, Marge, et al, Violence Against Women: The Missing Agenda