Everybody Loves Raymond

Everybody Loves Raymond is a television sitcom based on a seemingly typical modern American household. The show is based around a loving but somewhat unequal marriage between Ray and Debbie. Thrown into the mix is Ray’s overprotective mother, his domineering father, and his insecure brother. Most or these characters play into the American perception of what a man or a woman should be. Each personality has it’s own way of portraying one’s gender, in turn making the sitcom more appealing to Americans.

Ray is a portrayed as a stereotypical male. He carries all of the traits that we are brought up to know a normal. His interests are golf, work, and sex. It is a replication of the media’s fantasy of the “real man” (tough guise). As the dominant male figure, he strives only for these few things but rarely succeeds in getting them because his wife makes most of the household decisions. During the entire episode, Ray is only seen doing housework once. Unfortunately, he is completely clueless as to what to do and Debbie has to take over. This clearly shows that even though Ray is the dominant one in the house, he is not required to do thing pertaining to housework and childcare. In fact, if Ray is asked to do something like that he complains and does everything he can to get out of it. This behavior not only plays into what were expecting of a typical man, but it also shows what we are to expect for a typical woman.

Women tend to spend at least fifteen more hours doing housework than men do (309). In the case of Ray’s wife, Debbie, she spends all of her day doing housework and taking care of the children, which you never see during the episode. Every time Debbie appears in a scene she is folding clothes, doing dishes, or taking care of other domestic issues. About fifteen percent (15.7%) of woman on primetime television do not have a job. Another eleven percent (14.4%) of women were represented as homemakers or housewives as their occupation, Debbie being one of them (Elasmar et al 8). While housewives seem to have no power in the real world, Debbie has all of the power at home. She decides when Ray can play golf, what bills to play, and most importantly when to have sex. This power, which she exercises regularly, is not considered as important as Ray’s power. She may make all of the decisions but because she does not go out into the work and bring home a paycheck, she will never be considered the most important part of the household.

Now when looking at Ray’s parents, we see a mirror image as to what goes on with Ray’s marriage. Marie, Ray’s mother, is always heeding to not only the needs of her husband, but also the needs of her two sons. Every time at lunch, Frank, Ray’s father, expects her to make him a sandwich. She is the ultimate caregiver for her sons, almost to the point of suffocation. Frank, on the other hand, does not take and part in caring for his sons. In fact, he seems to want to distance himself from them. He orders Marie around because he feels that it is her job to take care of him inside the house. Even though there are differences because of their generations there is one main similarity. The fact that in both of their relationships, the man goes into the world to provide for his family while the woman stays home and takes care of the children is not a coincidence. It is the product of socialization through family. Most early socialization occurs with in a family context, resulting in how the individual will structure his life later (95).

We now have two married couples that maintain typical gender roles within the American society. However, there is an odd man out. Robert is Ray’s single brother who seemingly never fully separated from his mother. Robert strays from all of the gender roles that are so prominent in Ray. Even though his occupation as a police officer and his size alone make him into an intimidating person, he shows himself as the complete opposite. Robert enjoys doing things that would be considered feminine, such as shopping and watching dramatic movies. He does everything his mother tells him to and never seems to want to separate from her. However, his heterosexuality is never questioned. Robert seems to relate with Debbie better than any other character on the show. This poses an interesting question as to whether or not you need maintain all of the characteristics of a “real man.”

Everybody Loves Raymond in a way contradicts itself. The show creates stereotypical relationships among men and woman and then simply puts it all out this window with one character that embraces both femininity and masculinity while continuing to maintain his heterosexuality. Everybody Loves Raymond plays into the all American gender roles of a strong and dominant male and a domestic and caring female. Both who love each other in an equal yet unbalanced relationship. They seem to compliment each other nicely and it is never questioned because of the socialization they have received while growing up. Ray’s parents taught him that he is to be the head of the household while his wife is the one that does all of the housework. We can only assume that with Debbie, she was raised with the same ideals that Ray’s parents placed on him because of how well she receives her status as the homemaker and child care giver.

Citations Noted:

1.Giddens, Anthony and Duneier, Mitchell and Appelbaum, Richard P. Introduction To Sociology New York W.W. Norton and Company 2003

2.Elasmar, Michael and Haseqawa, Kazumi and Brian, Mary “The Portrayal of Women in U.S. Prime Time Television” Journal of Broadcasting and Electronic Media Vol. 43 Issue 1 (1999)

3.Katz, Jackson and Earp, Jeremy “Tough Guise” 1991