Communication and Dialogue: About How Ensure Smooth Transition of Children from Early to Adult
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The family is the smallest unit in society but occupies a primer and fundamental position. Understanding the family here means a nuclear family consisting of father, mother and child. Father and mother ideally are not separate but shoulder-to-should in carrying out parental responsibilities and are able to fulfil their tasks as educators, and each family exponent performs their respective functions. The family is the first place children get direct early experience that will be used as the provision of his life in the future through physical, social, mental, emotional and spiritual exercises. As Malinowski (Megawangi, 1999) says about the ‘principle of legitimacy’ as the basis of the family, the social structure must be internalized since the individual is born so that a child knows and understands his position and position, in the hope of being able to adapt it in society.
Soon after he grew up. In other words, the family is the most important agent that functions to continue the culture through the process of socialization between individuals and the environment. Therefore, to realize a certain function is not only natural but also the existence of various factors or forces that exist around the family, such as values, norms and behavior and other factors that exist in the community. Beginning of the formation of a family is based on the basic needs of each individual. Rogers (Calvin and Gardner, 1993) says every human being has a basic need for the warmth, appreciation, acceptance, exaltation, and love of others. This need is called need for positive regard, which is subdivided into 2 conditional positive regard (conditional) and unconditional positive regard (unconditional).
Rogers describes a fully functioning person who is a person who experiences unconditional positive appreciation. This need is expected by the individual can be fulfilled in building a family. With a harmonious marriage then the needs of these needs will be fulfilled. Because that’s basically every couple wants their marriage to run smoothly. However, according to Laswell and Lobsenz (1987), marriage is called the most difficult ‘if possible’ expressed as a social enterprise. Leads to how well most people prepare and how much they hope for it, the picture is often not proven true. In reality it is not a few couples who ‘fail’ to maintain the integrity of the household. Father, mother, and child are the nuclear family which is the smallest organization in the life of society. In essence, the family is the first and fundamental container that is fundamental to the development and growth of children. In the family, children will get the first education about the various life order that exist in society. It is the family who introduces the child to the rules of religion, ethics, community rules, and other unwritten rules that are expected to be the basis of the child’s personality in the environment. The family will also be the greatest motivator that is relentless when the child needs support in living the life.
It can also be observed that the pattern of living at home (stable or broken), the family’s economic and social status in society and many other conditions that give the house a characteristic character can affect student achievement in school. Abdulganiyu (1997), adding that studies have shown that children differ in various ways as a result of their home background variables such as socioeconomic status, parental attitudes toward school and child-rearing practices. These home background variables are also found to be positively related to the academic achievement of children, especially students who need care and love. Similarly, Giwa (1997), has investigated factors in family or family backgrounds that affect their performance in school, variables such as socioeconomic status, family size, birth order, parental attitudes, child-rearing practices, parental absence or presence have been found to affect the social and intellectual learning experience of children in school.
The meaning of broken home in Indonesian is a split in the family. Broken home can also be interpreted as a family condition that is not in harmony and does not run like a harmonious, peaceful, and prosperous family because of frequent clamor and disputes that cause quarrels and ends in divorce. The term ‘Broken Home’ is usually used to describe a family that is not in harmony and does not run like a harmonious and prosperous family due to frequent conflicts that lead to an argument that can even lead to divorce. This will have a major impact on the atmosphere of the house that is no longer conducive, the parents are no longer the attention to their children so that the impact on the development of children, especially adolescents. Parents are role models and role models for adolescent development especially in psychic and emotional development, parents are the closest character formation. If adolescents are expected to be in a ‘broken home’ condition where their parents are no longer a role model for themselves it will have a major impact on their development.
Psychic impact experienced by adolescents who experience broken home, teenagers become more quiet, shy, and even prolonged financial despression. Environmental factors where teenagers interact are other means if parents are already busy with their own affairs. If teenagers are in a negative social environment, because the situation is unstable then did not rule out teenagers will fall in the valley of bad relationships. In general, the main cause of this broken home is the busyness of both parents in earning a living like a father working men and mothers become career women. This is the basis of a person does not have a balance in running daily activities and on the contrary will harm the child itself, home school at home no one can be invited to share and discuss, making children look for outflow outside the house like hanging out with his friends which indirectly give effect to the child’s mental development. Therefore, they try to get the attention of others.
But unfortunately, some of them do the wrong way, for example: seeking the attention of the teacher by acting brutally in the class, acting strangely to get the attention of others. Families that are not harmonious and who do not walk like a happy, peaceful and prosperous family can also be said with a broken, because there is often a commotion and a dispute that led to the divorce. This condition can be a trigger and make children become sad, moody and embarrassed because his parents have divorced. And the most severe can make children do negative things like starting cigarettes, drugs, liquor, and others. This can ultimately lead children to lose their role models and helpers in the transition to adulthood. This broken home family is very influential on a child’s mental. This can lead to a child becoming unruly and slowly making the child undisciplined. Children can also be said to be the trigger of a problem because they want to seek sympathy from their friends, teachers and even from their own parents.
Families that are not harmonious and who do not walk like a happy, peaceful and prosperous family can also be said with broken home, because there is often a commotion and a dispute that led to the divorce. This condition can be a trigger and make children become sad, moody and embarrassed because his parents have divorced. And the most severe can make children do negative things like starting cigarettes, drugs, liquor, and others. This can ultimately lead children to lose their role models and helpers in the transition to adulthood. This broken home family is very influential on a child’s mental. This can lead to a child becoming unruly and slowly making the child undisciplined. Children can also be said to be the trigger of a problem because they want to seek sympathy from their friends, teachers and even from their own parent The worsening of communication between husband and wife is often the main trigger in broken home family. Hartley (1993) through Sarwono, explains the important role of mutual trust, mutual openness, and mutual love between the two parties for effective communication.
In these circumstances, the maturity of the personality determines the acceptance of the role of the couple communicating (Kabul, 1978). Another important aspect according to Hartley is the existence of a two-way relationship in this communication, meaning that here occurs the mutual understanding of the meaning implied in communication. So it can be concluded that interpersonal communication is an important means in the way of effective interpersonal relationships. Correspondingly, this communication drive is the effect of human biological disposition (Wright, 1989). The argument for the assumption that communication is the effect of genetic disposition is that each individual is born with a certain personality type, both introvert and extrovert (Jung, via Hall, 1993). It is this personality type difference that directs the development of individual communication. However, Carl Gustav Jung also acknowledges the influence of environmental factors that make up individual individuals in the process of responding to environmental demands. A broken home child is not just a child from a father and his mother divorced, but a child who is from an incomplete family, whose father and mother cannot play a role and function as a real parent.
It cannot be denied that the increasingly difficult economic needs make everyone work harder to meet the needs of his family. However, parents are often unaware of the child’s psychological needs as important as meeting the needs of life. Children need love in the form of attention, touch, reprimand and direction from father and mother, not only from the nanny or grandmother’s. For this need to be given special attention so that children are aware and willing to excel. Adolescence is a transition from childhood to maturity. In these times, the child will start doing a lot of negative things. Children will begin to listen more to their friends than their own parents. If not addressed properly, this can make children so uncomfortable in the family and eventually make the child can run away from home. So, here the family is responsible for the physical and psychological development of the child. The point is good communication between family members and especially married couples.
Because of poor communication between husband and wife is what often triggers broken home. Therefore, it is very important for mutual trust, open to each other between the parents to make effective communication. In these circumstances, the maturity of personality determines the acceptance of the role of the couple communicating. Divorce shows a reality of the life of a husband and wife who are no longer animated by the love of the basics of marriage that has been built together has been shaky and unable to support the unity of harmonious family life. Thus the husband and wife relationship between husband and wife is increasingly tenuous, each or one of them make the distance in such a way that communication is disconnected altogether. The relationship shows the situation of alienation and separation that widened and drifted into his own world. so there is a shift in meaning and function so that each feels completely alien without any sense of intimacy again. The cause of the broken family home include: Divorce is a thing to be avoided, so that the child’s emotions do not become disturbed.
Divorce is a suffering or traumatic experience for the child. The impact of broken family home view on the development of teen emotions. Parental divorce makes the child’s tempraments affected, the apparent influence in emotional development makes the child a moron, lazy (aggressive) who wants to seek the attention of parents / others. Seeking identity in an overlapping and less harmonious household atmosphere. The event of divorce led to emotional instability. The meaninglessness in adolescents will easily arise, so that in the life of adolescents feel that he is the unexpected in this life. Teenagers whose needs are less fulfilled by parents, angry emotions will be easily provoked. Mute culture is characterized by lack of communication and dialogue among family members. The problems that arise in these mute cultures actually happen in a community that knows each other and is bound by the inner rope.
The problem will not get worse if the mute culture occurs among people who do not know each other and in situations where the encounter is temporary. Families without dialogue and communication will pile up frustration and irritation in the souls of children. When parents do not provide opportunities for dialogue and communication in the true sense that is not a basic or just talk on things that are necessary or important; children are unlikely to want to trust their problems and open themselves. They’d better keep silent. This mute cultural situation will be able to kill the life itself and on the same side of dialogue has a very important role. Juvenile delinquency can be rooted in the lack of dialogue in childhood and the next, because parents are too busy while the more basic need of love is neglected. As a result the child becomes displaced in solitude and silence. Apparently the attention of parents by giving material pleasure has not been able to touch the humanity of children.
Dialogue cannot be replaced with expensive and good objects. Replacing it means throwing a child into a bunch of inanimate objects. It can be said that the cold war is heavier than the mute culture. Because in the cold war other than the lack of creation of dialogue is also inserted by a sense of disagreement and hatred of each party. The beginning of the cold war can be caused because the husband wants to win his own opinion and stance, while the wife only defends his own desires and wishes. The existence of economic problems In a family has difficulty in meeting the needs of the household. Wife demanded many things beyond eating and drinking. Yet with the husband’s income as casual labor, can only provide food and shelter tenants where the rent is affordable. Because husbands are unable to meet the demands of their wives and children for the aforementioned needs, a husband and wife spar that often leads to divorce. The Problem of Education The problem of education is often the cause of the occurrence of broken home. If education is somewhat tolerable to husband and wife then the insight about family life can be understood by them. In contrast to the husband and wife whose education is low often can not understand the twists and turns of the family.
Because it is often wrong to blame if there are problems in family. As a result there is always a quarrel that may lead to a divorce. If religious education exists or is quite possible the weakness of education will be overcome. This means husband and wife will be able to curb their individual passions so that contention can be avoided. Social Development Adolescents Group social behavior that enables a person to participate effectively in a group or society. The impact of the Broken Home on teenage social development is: Parental divorce causes disbelief of his ability and position, he feels inferior to being afraid to go out and hang out with friends. Children are difficult to adjust to the environment. Children raised in lame families tend to be difficult to adapt to the environment, the difficulty comes naturally from the child’s self. Impacts for unmarried females behave in one extreme way to men, they are very passive and inferior possibility the latter is too active, aggressive and flirtatious.
Certainly very many factors cause adolescents fall into the negatives in the transition. However, one of the main causes why teenagers like that is the lack of attention and love of parents. This could be due to too busy both their parents with work, so the attention and affection to his son is only expressed in the form of material only. Though matter cannot replace their thirst for the affection and attention of parents. Basically everyone wants recognition, attention, praise, and affection from his environment, especially from his parents or family, because naturally parents and family have a very strong emotional bond. When the recognition, attention, and affection do not get them at home, they will look elsewhere. One of the easiest places they can find to get that recognition is in their peers’ environment. Unfortunately, negative activities often become the choice of broken home children as a way to gain recognition eksistensy. In the psychoanalytic language of Sigmund Freud (1856-1939), the adolescent is more to follow the power of id (aggressive drives) rather than the superego (conscience).
The existence of their ego fails to mediate aggressiveness into a socially acceptable activity in social life (sublimation). However, the psychological approach is merely capable of exposing the problem in the individual sphere. That means ethical values that are socially diminished tend to be eliminated. In order for teenagers who are looking for identity is not getting falling, of course, the role of parents. In addition, it takes close supervision from the school and it became the key to the success of juvenile delinquency prevention either as a result of broken home and other consequences. The role of parents at home and the role of school is the key to the success of moral prevention of adolescents due to the influence of promiscuity. The affection and attention of parents is the first step. Under any circumstances, parents should always be with their children. The reason, already many victims of free association is a broken home child, they are looking for escape from the reality faced.
Teenagers should not think about it but because broken can trigger with mental that is the main thing can lower his health. Because, teenagers can only think with what they see so that teenagers who become victims of the problems of their parents. Other causes of problems that can cause teenagers to be ignorant and do not care about the environment around, because at an early age children should not think about parenting problems because the task of parents only give lessons so that teenagers can become more advanced. The destruction of an unstable house may affect students’ academic achievement, as well as teenagers who have suffered from neglect or lack of love (in a broken home) are psychologically unbalanced to face the reality of life when there is division within the family, or the difference between middle and will be harmed. According to Blackby (1999), adequate research needs to be done in this direction to ensure smooth transition of children from early to adult.