A report on the effects pf sibling sexual abuse

 A REPORT ON THE EFFECTS OF SIBLING SEXUAL ABUSE

AUGUST, 2013.

PREFACE
In this report the word ‘’ Sibling ’’ is used to refer to children who grow up in the same family, whether they are step-children, foster children, adopted children or children by birth. Naturally and healthy sexual exploration between children of similar age, size and developmental stage and sexual play that is mutual, voluntary and not coercive , is not sibling abuse, or incest, can involve a brother and sister, two sisters or two brothers but abuse by an older brother against a younger sister is the most common form. (Graffast Conn-Caffrey, 1998). Sibling sexual abuse, like all forms of sexual abuse, is an abuse of power. If a more powerful sibling, who may be older or stronger, bribes or threatens a weaker sibling into sexual activity, this is called sexual abuse.

Executive summary
This report is written for parents and other important role players who know or suspect that there is sibling abuse in their family and want to do something about it. It’s also written for parents who want to understand and prevent sibling sexual abuse. Many parents are afraid to believe that sexual abuse could be possible in their family, and this report is meant to support parents facing that responsibility in an informed way.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Executive Summary………………………………………………………………………………………… i Preface…………………………………………………………………………………………………………… ii CHAPTER ONE
What is sibling sexual abuse?………………………………………………………………….. 1 What are the effects of sibling sibling sexual abuse?…………………………………. 1 I don’t want to upset my parents………………………………………………………………….. 1 The feelings of being pressurized and trapped……………………………………………… 2 The feelings of betrayal………………………………………………………………………………… 2 The feelings of being powerless……………………………………………………………………. 2 The feeling of guilt………………………………………………………………………………………… 3 I didn’t want my sibling to get into trouble…………………………………………………… 3 Child abuse…………………………………………………………………………………………………… 3 A historical perspective………………………………………………………………………………… 3 Recognizing child abuse and neglect……………………………………………………………. 4 Effects of child abuse…………………………………………………………………………………… 5 Emotional maltreatment…………………………………………………………………………….. 5 Effects and consequences of child abuse and neglect…………………………………. 6 Learning and developmental problems………………………………………………………. 7 Trauma and psychological problems…………………………………………………………… 7 Behavioral problem……………………………………………………………………………………. 8 Youth suicide……………………………………………………………………………………………… 9 Teenage pregnancy……………………………………………………………………………………. 9 Sexual abuse………………………………………………………………………………………………. 9 Effects of sexual abuse……………………………………………………………………………….. 10 Psychological effects…………………………………………………………………………………… 10 Effects of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs on Tina………………………………………….. 11 CHAPTER TWO

Counselling and learning disability……………………………………………………………… 12 Child trauma………………………………………………………………………………………………… 13 Effects of trauma on Tina’s life…………………………………………………………………….. 13 Parental involvement and parental counselling…………………………………………… 14 Developing and individual learning program for Tina………………………………….. 14 Reporting child abuse…………………………………………………………………………………..15 Copping with learning disabilities…………………………………………………………………16 References…………………………………………………………………………………………………… 18

1.0 WHAT IS SIBLING SEXUAL ABUSE?
Sibling sexual abuse as with emotional and physical abuse is an abuse of power. For example a more powerful sibling who may be older or stronger, who coerces a younger sibling into sexual activity, this may be through force, the threat of force, bribes or a promise of special attention or gift to make the victim keep the abuse a secret. As in other forms of sexual abuse, sibling sexual abuse does not necessarily involve sexual touching. The abuser may force two or more other children to engage in sexual activity with one another. The abuser may force siblings to watch sexual activity or a pornographic video; and the abuser may abuse siblings by repeatedly watching them dress, shower or use the toilet when they don’t want to be watched. (Marcia burke, 2005) 1.1. WHAT ARE THE EFFECTS OF SIBLING SEXUAL ABUSE?

It can be very upsetting to find out that sexual abuse is happening in your family. Sibling sexual abuse remains one of the last taboos to be addressed by the society- and as such, it is rarely discussed in the media, or even among survivors themselves. It comes as a shock to many people that children can present a risk to other children, but it is becoming increasingly apparent that children (even children within families) can post a very real risk. (Leder, 1991). Abuse situations similar to Tina’s can be attributed to her mother’s marriage to John’s father. Because sibling sexual abuse is often very harmful and when sexual abuse is perpetrated by a sibling, in many ways, it is even harder to break the silence, and there are certainly some special reasons that made Tina’s abuse especially difficult to disclose. 1.1.1 I didn’t want to upset my parents:

Many children of sibling sexual abuse will not report it because they believe that the knowledge will devastate their parents. Therefore, the children stay silent in other to protect their parents and again this can carry on into adulthood. Furthermore, there may be this belief that this truth would be too hard for their parents to bear, and so they would not believe the disclosure. 1.1.2 The feelings of being pressurized and trapped:

Because siblings lived together, the victim can feel pressurized and trapped
by the abuser over a long period of time. This pressure may include bribes, threats, sexual stimulation or physical force. Physical abuse or threats are often used to make sure younger siblings keep the sexual abuse secret. (Gasser, 1998). This kind of pressure can break down the sibling’s self-esteem and isolate the abused children from other family member. 1.1.3 The feelings of betrayal:

The victim usually begins by trusting the abuser because they are siblings. When this trust is violated, the victim feels betrayed by that brother or sister, because someone they expect to love and care for them is hurting them. In addition, your younger children would naturally trust you to choose a safe, kind person to take care of them. When the person you chose abuses them, the victims can feel betrayed again, this time by you. They may even believe that you think the abuse is acceptable. 1.1.4 The feelings of being powerless:

In most cases, the victims usually feels powerless to stop the abuse. They may feel they can’t stop the abuser, because he or she is bigger, older, and stronger and may have threatened them. They may also feel powerless if you don’t believe them when they tell you they’re being abused. This feeling of being powerless can stay with them and affect their adult relationship. 1.1.5 The feeling of guilt:

The victim may be made to feel responsible, bad or dirty. If you accuse younger children of doing something to encourage the abuse or blame them in some way for the abuse, they will believe you and feel ashamed. They may carry these feelings of shame into adulthood. If you are able to believe and support your child, it will improve their ability to heal. 1.1.6 I didn’t want my sibling to get into trouble:

Despite the sexual abuse, even when forced sexual assault takes place, children can feel a sense of loyalty towards their abusive sibling and not want them to get into trouble. You may still love your sibling despite what pain they may have caused you, and reporting them can feel very disloyal. You may have feared that your sibling would be have been ejected from the
family home, or sent to prison, or even killed- and therefore silence felt like the only option. 1.2. CHILD ABUSE

According to the Natal Education Departments circular 12 of 1987, child abuse is defined as physical, emotional or sexual abuse by parents or any adult responsible for the care and the wellbeing of a child. Depriving the child of a proper diet, medical attention and education can also constitute child abuse. 1.2.1 A HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE:

According to DeMause (1995:1), the history of childhood is a nightmare from which we have only recently begun to awaken. The further back we go, the lower the level of child care and the more likely children were to be killed, abandoned, beaten, terrorized and sexually abused. In recent times it was not assumed that children automatically had a right to live. This right was ritually bestowed, and if it was withheld, the child could be disposed of as a nonentity with little compunction. Usually it was the father who had to acknowledge the child, proclaiming him or her to be his own. In countries like India, Mexico and Peru, children were thrown into rivers in the hopes of securing prosperity and good crops. The early history of the indigenous people of South Africa likewise affirms the incidence of child abuse. Among some people, infants who were born feet first, babies whose upper teeth appeared first and children with visible physical defects. Such children were believed to be removed before disaster struck (Schapera 1953:210; Mayhill and Norgard 1983:5). Exposure and infanticide are the time-honored methods of lethal child abuse. Weak, premature or deformed infants were frequently disposed of in ancient Egypt. However, although infanticide was common in many cultures, these practice is even reflected in the laws of certain countries, for example the Chinese passed a law in 1654 banning the drowning of little girls. But, sadly, these laws have never stopped infanticide, which continues down to our day. Child labor remains another major way in which children have been abused over the centuries. As early as the Middle Ages, a system of apprenticeship was widely prevalent in which children worked for a master for seven years. In terms of this system, such children were in effect the slaves of their master. This situation lasted until 1815. The major causes of child labor in developing countries
today are poverty and inequality. Development is inversely related to the incidence of child labor worldwide. High illiteracy rates, backwardness in economic development, and poor environmental resources encourage child labor. (Naider 1986:70). History provides a perspective that help us to better understand our own shortcomings in respect of children. The human race strives to treat its children better and this is to secure a future for itself and generations to come. (Hobbs et al 1993:14-15). 1.2.2 RECOGNISING CHILD ABUSE & NEGLECT:

Every form of maltreatment (e.g. physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, and emotional maltreatment) is inflicted on school-age children. In addition, many children who lives in homes where domestic violence occurs are not only in danger of misdirected blow, but probably suffer emotional consequences from witnessing this disturbing behavior. (Naider 1986: 70-80). Knowledgeable educators can pick up indicators of possible maltreatment by observing children’s behavior at school, recognizing physical signs, noticing family dynamics during routine interactions with parents. Educators are in excellent position to notice behavioral indications. (Graffast Conn-Caffrey, 1998). As trained observers, they are sensitive to the range of behaviors exhibited by children at various developmental stages, and they are quick to notice behaviors that fall outside this range. Teachers can also talk with a child’s previous teacher to note any major changes in his or her behavior. 1.2.3 EFFECTS OF CHILD ABUSE:

Evidence suggest that the different type of abuse and neglect rarely occur in isolation and children who experience repeated maltreatment often experience multiple forms of abuse (Higgins 2004:5). The effects of child abuse cannot be explained without having a prior knowledge of the various types of child maltreatment present. The five main types of child maltreatment with special reference to sexual and emotional abuse are; A. Physical abuse

B. Sexual abuse
C. Emotional maltreatment
D. Neglect
E. Witnessing domestic violence
Emotional maltreatment:
This form of child abuse includes blaming, belittling, or rejecting a child; constantly treating siblings unequally; and a persistent lack of concern by the caretaker for the child’s welfare. While emotional maltreatment most often is observed through behavior, it is possible for children to internalize it so sufficiently as to cause developmental lags, psychosomatic symptoms, and other visible effects, such as speech disorders. For Tina and other children like her, the world has taken on a sinister quality. These children may seem overly compliant and undemanding or aggressive and over demanding. Educators involved with such children may need to tailor or modify their interactions with and responses to these behaviors. 1.2.4 EFFECTS/CONSEQUENCIES OF CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT:

Child abuse and neglect can affect all domains of development-physical, psychological, cognitive, and behavioral and social- which are often interrelated. (Corby 2006; Ward and McPherson, 2006). The thirteen major effects of child abuse are; Attachment problems

Physical health problems
Learning and developmental problems
Trauma and psychological problems
Behavioral problems
Mental health problems
Eating disorders
Drug and alcohol abuse
Youth suicide
Aggression, violence and criminal activity
Fatal abuse
Teenage pregnancy
Homelessness.
The following section discusses the possible consequences of child abuse and neglect identified but for the scope of this report, I will limit the consequences to those observed in the case of Tina. 1. Learning and developmental problems

Strong associations have been made between child abuse/neglect and learning difficulties/poor academic achievement (Gilbert et al., 2009; Mills, 2004; Veltman and Browne, 2001). Abuse and neglect in the early years of life can seriously affect the developmental capacities of infants, especially in the critical areas of speech and language (Wolfe, 1999). Research has demonstrated that abused and neglected children perform less well on standardized test and achieve poorer school marks, even when socio-economic status and other background factors are taken into account (Mills, 2004). Prospective research studies have consistently shown that maltreated children have consistently shown that maltreated children have lower educational achievement than other groups of children (Gilbert et al.; 2009). In a meta-analysis by Veltman and Browne (2001), 31 of 34 studies (91%) indicated that abuse and neglect was related to poor school achievement and 36 of 42 (86%) indicated delays in language development. 2. Trauma and psychological problems

Trauma caused by experience of child abuse and neglect can have serious effects on the developing brain, increasing the risk of psychological problems (Streck-Fischer & Van der Kolk, 2000). Extensive research has identified a strong relationship between abuse/neglect and post- traumatic stress disorder (Gilbert et al.; 2009; Schore, 2002; Streck-Fisher & Van der Kolk, 2002). Recent research suggest that diagnosing children with post- traumatic stress disorder does not capture the full developmental effects of chronic child abuse and neglect and many researchers now prefer the term ‘’complex trauma’’ (Cook et al.; 2005). Exposure to chronic and complex trauma can result in persistent psychological problems. Complex trauma affects the developing brain and may interfere with a child’s capacity to integrate sensory, emotional and cognitive information, which may lead to over-reactive responses to subsequent stress (Perry, 2001; Streeck-Fischer & Van Der Kolk, 2002). 3. Behavioral problems

Researchers have found that child abuse and neglect is associated with behavioral problem in childhood and adolescence (Etheir et al.; 2004; Mills, 2004; Shaffer, Houston, & Egeland, 2008). Researchers have often associated abuse and neglect with internalizing behaviors (being withdrawn, sad,
isolated and depressed) and externalizing behaviors (being aggressive or hyperactive) throughout childhood (Mills, 2004). Internalizing behaviors are commonly associated with child neglect. Children affected by neglect tend to be more isolated at school compared to other groups of children and have difficulty making friends (Hildyard & Wolf, 2002). Neglected children may also display aggressive and disruptive behavior; however, externalizing behavior problems are more closely associated with physical and sexual abuse or witnessing domestic violence (Hildygard & Wolf, 2002; Holt; Buckley, & Whelan, 2008). Inappropriate sexualized behavior is also linked with abuse and neglect, and mostly commonly with sexual abuse and exposure to highly violent and sexualized environments (Corby, 2006; Meirick, litrownik, Everson, & Cox, 2008). 4. Youth suicide

Research suggests that abuse and neglect doubles the risk of attempted suicide for young people (Brodsky & Stanley, 2008; Brown et al.; 1999; Evans, Hawton, & Rodham, 2005). The systematic reviews by Evans and colleagues found a strong link between physical/sexual abuse and attempted suicide/suicidal thoughts occurring during adolescence. Perkins and Jones (2004) found that 31% of a physically abused group of adolescents had suicidal thoughts compared to 10% of a non-abused group. Brodsky and Stanley (2008) found that risk of repeated suicidal attempts were eight times greater for youths with a sexual abuse history. The authors suggested that sexual abuse could be specifically related to suicidal behavior because it is closely associated with feelings of shame and internal attributions of blame (Brodsky & Stanley, 2008). 5. Teenage pregnancy

Adverse consequences of teenage pregnancy and risky sexual activities may also be associated with experiences of abuse and neglect (Fergusson, Horwood, & Lynskey, 1997; Gilbert et al.; 2009; Hillis et al.; 2004; Mendes & Moslehuddin, 2006; Noell, Rhode, Seely, & Ochs, 2001). Research has consistently linked teenage pregnancies with experiences of sexual abuse (Hillis et al.; 2004 Paolucci, Genius, & Violato, 2001). A study by Fergusson and colleagues found that young women (18 years of age) exposed to child sexual abuse had significantly higher rates of teenage pregnancy, increased rates of sexually transmitted diseases, and higher rates of
multiple sexual partnerships and appeared to be more vulnerable to further sexual assault and rape. 1.2.2 SEXUAL ABUSE

Sexual abuse is defined as inappropriate adolescent or adult sexual behavior with a child. It includes fondling a child’s genitals, making the child fondle the adults genital, intercourse, incest, rape, sodomy, exhibitionism, sexual exploitation or exposure to pornography. Sexual abuse also may be committed by a person under the age of 18 when that person is either significantly older than the victim or when the perpetrator is in a position of power or control over the child. Sexual abuse may take place within the family (referred to as incest), by a parent’s boyfriend or girlfriend, or at the hands of adult caretakers outside the family, for example, a family’s friend or babysitter. Contrary to the myth of abuse by strangers, these adults are usually known to the child and have a relationship with him or her. The impact of sexual abuse on the child depends upon many factors. The identity of the perpetrator, the amount of force of betrayal involved, the duration of the abuse, and the child’s age and individual personality can affect the way in which the child responds to the abuse. When children know the perpetrator and are not significantly physically harmed, the feelings of betrayal when they recognize that they have experience abuse may be more disturbing than the abuse itself. Boys are vulnerable to sexual abuse as girls, though they are not as likely to report abuse. (Corby, 2006). One problem in detecting sexual abuse is that the warning signals to its existence also may be indicative of other disturbances. Tina’s fears, feelings of guilt, helplessness, betrayal and loss of confidence are typical reactions of sexually abused children. Some victims withdraw while others express their conflicts with aggression. Educators should be aware of other indicators of possible sexual abuse, such as children being consumed with the efforts to deal with their conflicts over the abuse that they lack the energy to keep up their studies. Like Tina, sexually abused children keep the secret not only because the perpetrator may have threatened them, their families, or other pets, but also because they feel they are to blame for their involvement and fear that no one will believe them if they report the abuse. 1.2.2.1 EFFECTS OF SEXUAL ABUSE

Child sexual abuse can have a number of effects, both physical and psychological that last both in the short and longer term. Early identification and effective interaction can ameliorate the initial effects and long – term consequences of child sexual abuse and promote the recovery of victims. Outlined below are some common effects which can occur as a result of childhood sexual assault; 1. Psychological effects

a) Fear: the offenders may swear the child to secrecy and say something bad will happen if they tell. Coercion, bribery or threats usually accompany sexual abuse. b) Helplessness/powerlessness: children in this situation often feel that they have no control over their own lives or even their own bodies. They feel that they have no choices available to them. c) Guilt & shame: the child knows something is wrong, but blames him or herself not others. The offender will often encourage the child to feel that the abuse is his or her fault and as a consequence is a ‘’bad’’ person. d) Isolation: incest victims feel different from other children. They must usually be secretive. This further isolates them from non – offending parents and brothers and sisters. This isolation often leads to the child being labelled as ‘’different’’, ‘’a problem’’ or in some way different from their siblings. 1.3 EFFECTS OF MASLOW’S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS ON TINA

Abraham Maslow posited that the needs of human being could be divided and prioritized into five ‘’levels’’. Individuals do not seek the satisfaction of a need at one level until the previous ‘’level of need’’ is met. The five levels of need identified by Maslow were physiological, safety/security, belonging/social affiliation, self-esteem, and self-actualization. (From Maslow, A. 1970). Maslow maintained that our most basic need is for physiological survivals: shelter warmth, food, drink, and so on. Once these physiological needs are met, individuals then are able to address the need for safety and security, including freedom from danger and absence of threat. Once safety has been assured, belonging or love, which is usually found within families, friendships, membership in associations, and within the community then becomes priority. Maslow claimed that the need for self-esteem cam be met through mastery or achievement in a given field or through gaining respect or recognition from others. Once the need for
self-esteem has been largely met, Maslow stated, we will develop a new restlessness and the urge to pursue the unique gifts or talents that may be particular to that person. As regards Tina’s behavior, the possible effects of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs noticed has to do with the deficiency of needs precisely the need of protection and security- safety. Because when physiological needs are met, the need for safety will emerge. Safety and security rank above all other desires when pertaining to physiological needs. These includes: a) Physical security-: safety from violence, delinquency aggressions. b) Family security

c) Security of health.
SECTION 2
2.0 COUNSELLING AND LEARNING DISABILITY
According to (Gillis, 1997:2), counselling can be defined as a facilitative process during which the counsellor, working within the frame work of a special relationship, uses specific skills to help young people to help themselves more effectively. While ‘’learning disability’’ refers to problems experienced by a particular group of children who exhibits presence of deficiency in the development and use of listening, speaking, reading, writing, comprehension and mathematical abilities. (Derbyshire 1996: 382). However, counselling and support for learning problems cannot be mistaken for the same because counselling entails giving ‘’common sense’’ advice and it is, in effect, an extension of the teacher-learner or parent-child relationship. This can be explained literarily as when a learner needs help, the counsellor tries to determine the nature/extent of the problem and then suggests a possible solution based on his or her own life experience. While support for learning problems has to do with supporting student s who are experiencing difficulties in learning in regular classes regardless of the cause through planning, implementing, modelling and evaluating teaching programs for students with additional learning and support needs through a range of strategies (including direct instruction, delivery of adjusted learning programs, assessment and monitoring of progress) including in the area social integration, language and communication, literacy, numeracy and behavior. This may include students with confirmed disabilities (Hallaham & Kauffman, 1986: 212). 2.1 CHILD TRAUMA

According to McGraw-Hill, 2004, early childhood traumas (i.e. those that happen before the age of six) lie at a root of most long-term depression and anxiety, and many emotional and psychological illness. Severe traumas can even alter the very chemistry and psychology of the brain itself! In addition to physical, sexual and verbal abuse, this can include anything that causes a child to feel worthless, unlovable, insecure, and even endangered. According to Jerry Mogul (1976:22), belittling, degrading or ridiculing a child; making or her feel unsafe [including threat of abandonment]; failing to express affection, caring and love; neglecting mental health, medical or educational needs are also considered as potentially harmful events which can traumatize a child. 2.1.1 EFFECTS OF TRAUMA ON TINA’S LIFE

A child’s vulnerable psyche can be affected by a traumatic incident such as sexual abuse, where the child expects protection from an adult but finds instead that his or her trust is betrayed in a profoundly shocking way. Tina’s normal mental functioning was disrupt and her protective shield was broken which left her shocked and confused. She became silent, withdrawn, discouraged and depressed. This is also accompanied with the fear and anxiety she developed as a result of the abuse. She was fearful to inform her mother because she felt her mother will blame her for trying to destroy the new family. She experienced betrayal at the hands of her mother because she was unable and unwilling to protect or believe her. 2.2 PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT & PARENTAL COUNSELLING

Parental involvement includes making many constructive contributions to schools in the form of involving or making themselves available in life-skills educational programs and also to assist teachers in addressing the diverse needs of learners. Parental involvement cam also include teaching their wards a particular skill, assist in terms of fundraising, involvement in sport, cultural and other extramural activities. Parental counselling has to do with scheduling and making spaces for interviews with parents whose ward s are having/experiencing learning difficulties. This phenomenon, basically explains positive measures that can be taken to ensure
that as an educator, you are able to convince a parent that his or her child has learning difficulties and more importantly conveying to them that you are in an equal partnership with them in educating their child. 2.3 DEVELOPING AN INDIVIDUAL LEARNING PROGRAM FOR TINA

The lives of maltreated children, even after the report of an abuse or neglect, may be filled with stress. Schools, however, can provide a constant, stable environment. Classroom teachers should be mindful of a child’s need for consistency and try to find ways to meet that need. The first step is to begin a class or morning with discussions of how students feels. This will assist in combating the learner’s inability to express their feelings. Secondly, it will be very beneficial if educators teach the use of a formula for solving problems and provide sample problems so the students can try it as this will reduce difficulties in making decisions. Structuring learning projects to maximize the use of cooperative activities and solutions. Thereby reducing competitive activities. This approach helps to resolve issues of traumatized children lacing cooperation with other learners. Teach conflict resolution and peer mediation skills. This approach will assist in solving issues of heightened interpersonal conflict often witnessed amongst traumatized children. 2.3.1 REPORTING CHILD ABUSE – Important guidelines to consider: In addition to trying to help families in which maltreatment is suspected, the involvement of educators in reporting child abuse and neglect is guided by federal standards and regulations and mandated by the state and local laws, which identify what is required of the educator and how that obligation is to be fulfilled. Once an educator suspects that a child is being abused, he or she must waste no time in reporting. Making such a report sometimes feels risky and confusing to educators. The following guidelines can be considered when reporting abuse: 1. Following the procedures outlined in the reporting policy of the school: This has to do with having the necessary information required for filling a report and also making sure that the school have the necessary report form. 2. The next step is to ensure that all the necessary information’s have been documented, properly written down to help organize it in the educators mind. After this, the next step is to analyze all the information’s gathered critically. 3. The third step is to speak with other professionals within
the school, this will assist the educator in seeking necessary or further advice on how to handle the report process. 4. The fourth procedure is to make sure the educator (or school) have the exact and current contact information of the agency where the reports should be made. 5. The educator has to discuss with his or her administrator about the support available once the report is made and also try to set up a support system for him or herself with other educators, professionals or friends. According to section 30(1) (D) of the interim constitution of the Republic of South Africa 200 of 1993: ‘’every child shall have the right – not to be subjected to neglect or abuse’’. After the department of welfare must have finished assessing the information’s provided by the reporter and thereby determine the most appropriate response to ensure the child’s safety and well-being and to help the family care safety for the child. Then a family development response may be provided. This will enhance the child’s parents working cooperatively with the welfare department. This response involves an intensive, time- limited, supportive approach. It consist of an assessment of the family’s strengths and problem areas, and the provision of support services to help the family while monitoring the child’s safety. 2.4 COPPING WITH LEARNING DISABILITIES

According to (Kempe & Kempe 1987: 148); any adult who is involved with education (guidance) of children has the responsibility to find out more about the phenomenon of child abuse. ‘’ultimately our children’s future and our world’s future are one’’ All children needs love, encouragement, and support, and for kids with learning disabilities, such positive reinforcement can help ensure that they emerge with a strong sense of self-worth, confidence, and the determination to keep going even when things are tough. The following are steps that can be taking to deal with learning disability: 1. Keeping things in perspective: A learning disability is not insurmountable. Remind yourself that everyone faces obstacles. It’s up to you as a parent or teacher to teach your child/learner how to deal with those obstacles without becoming discouraged or overwhelmed. It’s important to give our child the required emotional and moral support. 2. Become your own expert: Do your own research and keep abreast of new developments in learning disability programs, therapies, and educational techniques. You may
be tempted to look to others-teachers, therapists, doctors- for solutions, especially at first. 3. Be an advocate for your child: you may have to speak up time and time again to get special help for your child. Embrace your role as a proactive parent and work on your communication skills. It may be frustrating at times but by remaining calm and reasonable, yet firm, you can make a huge difference for your child. 4. Remember that your influence outweighs all others. Your child will follow your lead. If you approach learning challenges with optimism, hard work, and a sense of humor, your child is likely to embrace your perspective- or at least see the challenges as a speed bump, rather than a roadblock. Focus your energy on learning what works for your child and implementing it the best you can.

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