Things We Never Said

It was one of those beautiful July days in my weekend place in Croatia. The sun was so bright it reflected from the sea to my balcony. A fairy tail sight.I had my breakfast and fancied a walk on the beach. It was destined to happen. I wasn’t walking for 5 minutes when he spotted me. I saw him watching me. I smiled and kept going. He approached me, introduced himself and asked me to go for a drink with him. I had to accept it. He was tall with dark skin and green eyes. Those 2 hours we spent in the bar were like 2 hours in paradise. He had a great sense of humor and was serious when I asked him to be. He loved me just the way I am and I respected his honesty. It was like a fairy tail till I met my friend. The moment she saw me with him she asked me “What are you doing with him? Do you know who he is?” Apparently he was a drug addict. I took it easily cause he was nice with me and I didn’t bother. We went out for couple of days till my mom saw us. My friend Katarina told my mom who he is. My mom was so angry. She yelled at me and I felt so frustrated. He was going to rehabilitation soon, but again I was OK with it. He had attack of violency when he took his drugs in a pub in his place and he beat up his previous girlfriend so bad she required medical attention. My mom just didn’t want to risk with me.

So much thoughts through my mind in that situation.”I’m 18 in 4 months and I will make my own decisions”or “I became independent and a clause in that independency is that I decide whit who I go out”, I said. My mom became so quiet.Like the whole world stopped.I went out 3 more times with him. I pretended to be someone else.I somehow knew my mom was right although I reacted as a rebel. He knew something was wrong but I avoided to say anything to him.I was scared a bit and i couldn’t wait to come back home to Zenica. The day came and I didn’t even say “Farewell” to him. Later that month I found out he was arrested after another attack of violence from my Katarina. She knew what she was doing and she is my true friend. I never said “Sorry” or “Thank you” to my mom although she deserves it.I still feel proud and that pride kept me from saying it to mom.I always believed everything happenes for a reason and after that situation I was sure of that. I always expressed my feelings from then and always said words I have to. It pains to keep it for yourself. Still so much unsaid words for me but I began my life all over again after turning 18. Maturity brings responsiblity and requires from us to be who we are. Tell everyone you love how much you do love them cause tomorrow it may ne late.