“A Fortunate Life” A.B Facey

The Beatles once said that love is all you need. While Dr. Spock of the Starship Enterprise stated that he really learned it all from mothers. And so from these divine wisdoms one must conclude that love is important and that mothers are important and with their powers combined we see something of ultimate importance, and that is a mother’s love – the most important love of all.But love, what is love. That is a question that has plagued man from the dawn of time. Shakespeare wrote plays about, it inspires great music such as ‘hit me baby one more time’ by Britney Spears

Matt Greoning, creator of The Simpsons described love as a perky elf dancing a merry little jig. Webster’s Dictionary defines love as to have a feeling of love for; to regard with affection or good will; as, to love one’s children.Children, it’s an interesting word children. Children have mothers, so do squirrels and armadillo’s. A mother is more than a female parent of an animal; motherhood is more than creating and producing. American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language defines the act of being a mother as to watch over, nourish, and protect maternally.

From this it is understood that the role of the mother extends beyond the biological processes. And so, I will be addressing the idea that the way in which a mother expresses her love for her child is imperative to the emotional and mental stability of the child. It is essential that a child feels loved by his/her mother that when they don’t feel the love their chances of developing a mental illness dramatically increase. While the second speaker will explain the importance of mothers in nature, taking examples from real life animals in real life situations.

In many cases the role of mother is unable to be filled by the biological parent; this however does not mean that the role is cut from the script of life. It is not uncommon for those with unloving mothers or without mothers at all to identify a ‘motherly figure’ and align themselves with the figure, making themselves a comfy little possie underneath its warm, motherly wing.A prime example of this comes from the well know autobiographical novel ‘A Fortunate Life’, by Albert Facey. In it Facey is abandoned by his mother shortly before his second birthday and left with his grandmother. Facey describes his grandmother as the only mother he’d known.

Later on, a couple that Facey was working for tried to adopt him, the idea of this pleased Albert because he yearned to be part of a family, to experience the unconditional love that only a mother can have for her child. Unfortunately, his biological mother did not want that life for Albert, and refused to sign the adoption papers. Albert’s mother took love from him again some years later when Facey, then aged 14, found himself living with her; shortly after having moved in she demanded that he pay one pound a week for board. The novel states that his mother had no love for him or his brothers and that the whole situation made him feel unwelcome and unhappy. In fact, he took the first opportunity that arose to escape the circumstances.

Many children idolize their parents and what they want more than anything is their parents’ approval. By giving your child your support you are also giving your approval. When children do not have their parents’ approval or support they tend to go to drastic measures to achieve it. Albert Facey also desired that sense of approval and so when he was a young boy he accepted a job offer that required him to leave home, despite his own reservations, because of the encouragement his grandmother, the only motherly figure in his life, offered.

In my search to understand the importance of a mother’s love I went out into the streets and spoke to many orphans; one of who was Annie, the baby orphan seal. And little Annie said to me ‘art art art art’ [seal like noises]. This roughly translates to “I feel rejected and abandoned, sometimes I even feel unlovable because my mother was unable to love”.Annie went on to explain the emotional turmoil that she has endured as a result of her unloving mother. Saying that her mistreatment lead to learning difficulties, as a result of retreating from the mental world. Annie also described some emotional disturbances that have plagued her and others like her, including depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, post-traumatic stress disorder and dissociative identity disorder.A famous example of a mental illness that derived from child abandonment comes from Alfred Hitchcock’s movie, Psycho. In it we see a grown man, Norman Bates; who feels abandoned after the death of his mother, develop some serious mental illnesses.Bates firstly develops dissociative identity disorder in the form of a split personality – one being that of his mothers and the other his own. He then experiences several homicidal episodes, slicing and dicing many innocent people. Towards the end of the film, it is commented that a boy’s best friend is his mother.

And so, it is blatantly obvious from the evidence presented that a mothers love is of the utmost importance. Furthermore, a mother’s inability to express or feel love for her child has detrimental affects on their emotional well-being and social development and can result in mental illness. Moreover, mental illness can prevent the child form living a normal, happy life. I would now like to leave you with the infinite wisdom of a French proverb that says, ‘the torch of love is lit in the kitchen.’Oh, and remember, live long and prosper.