The Pillow Method

According to Shakespear “ All the world’s a stage, And mean and women merely player” However to be a true player you must see the stage from others perspective. The pillow method is define in the text, Looking out looking in by Ronald Adler andRusell Proctor II, as a method for understanding an issue from several perspectives rather than with egocentric “i’m right and you’re wrong “ attitude. The name of the theory arises from the analogy that a pillow has four sides and a middle, just like most issues and problems. By looking through each side of the problem and seeing each issue from each perspective, one should be able to find value in another’s perspective. The pilow method consist of five positions. The Disagreement

The disagreement in question concerns car choice. My brother argues that sports cars are far better than muscle cars because thay are designed for high speed driving and maneuverability whereas I argue that usually sports car have a smaller engine, and better handling. They’re good for curves and sharp turns. A muscle car is less about the looks and more about getting the job done. It’s better for reaching high speeds at a straight line. It also has a larger and more powerful engine.

Rendering the Disagreement According to the Pillow Method
I’M RIGHT, YOU’RE WRONG.
Since I own a muscle car (Dodge charger R/T), It was easier for me to explain to him why I was siding on the side of muscle cars. I was very confident that I was going to win this argument and quite frankly I think I did (self-imposed prophesy). The text Looking out Looking in explains in chapter two that “self-imposed prophecies occur when your own expectations influence your behavior. I also knew that for me to present my case properly I had to use Identity management. The text Looking out Looking in defines Identity management in chapter 2 as “ the communication strategies that people use to influence how others view them. One of the biggest differences between a sports car and a muscle car is the engine. Muscle cars have big, powerful engines; mostly V8s or better that gives them the “muscle” in their name. Sports cars, on the other hand, have smaller engines that might still be powerful, but more often than not less powerful than that of muscle cars. Muscle cars are associated with bold curves that just make the cars look like their power is trying to bulge out of the seams. Sports cars aren’t quite so rippling. Instead, sports cars are usually made up of sleek likes that aren’t as muscle-like as their powerful counterparts. YOU’RE RIGHT, I’M WRONG.

Mukailah 3
At this point I decided to play the devil’s advocate by putting my own opinion to rest and take his point of view by applying empathy. In chapter 3 of Looking out Looking in, Empathy is defined as “the ability to re-create another person’s perspective, to experience the world from the other’s point of view”. This was very hard to do because I felt like I was contradicting my self and this made me look weak in his eyes. Nevertheless, I went through with it stating some facts. It took courage and discipline to accomplish this. I stated to him that, For the most part, sports cars were made to excel around the corners, which is not a great place for most muscle cars. Sports cars have been either Spartan or luxurious, but good handling, minimum weight, and high performance are obligatory.

He stressed to me that Sports cars place the highest emphasis on the fun factor, great maneuverability, superb handling, good braking, low weight, aerodynamics, as well as acceleration and even though they often have smaller engines, they manage to be quick by their low weight and fast, agile handling. I emphasized the expensive maintenance cost as well as burn more gas than sport cars. BOTH RIGHT, BOTHvWRONG ars often accelerate more quickly than At this Juncture, I was more concerned about the similarities as well as the drawbacks of both cars. I started by telling him that, both categories of cars are fast and luxurious. They both have good traction and power potential. I also impressed upon him that, since both cars are performance driven; they are equipped with the most advanced high performance brakes. The performance of the breaks almost always is better than those of other typical vehicles. We both agreed on this point since performance cars are critiqued based on their ability to stop under particular amount of time and distance it takes for it to stop.

On the other hand, I started addressing the common drawbacks. They both inherently require more maintenance than their counterparts and also due to the bigger engine size in both modern muscle and sports cars they consume/ burn gas faster. He stress agreement to both points without hesitation. I concluded this part stating that both class of have could potentially attract high insurance premium and parts could be hard to come by especially since most of them are foreign cars. IT ISN’T IMPORTANT WHICH POSITION IS RIGHT OR WRONG

This position was the easiest part of the process because at this point we both knew and agreed on the common similarities and drawbacks of both categories of cars. I stressed the fact that our disagreement was not that importance since most people can’t even acknowledge the difference between a sports and a muscle car because they have so much in common. He then said that we could have talked about more important things such as investment opportunities. I giggle and said to him well, you know, that is what we were discussing and for some reason we ended up arguing about cars. At this point, I knew I was successful with the application of the pillow method. THERE IS TRUTH IN ALL FOUR PERSPECTIVES

Normally when I’m involved in an argument with a person, I tend to be angry with them when they refuse to understand or view things from my perspective and this in turn drives me to reciprocate the gesture. We automatically stumbled into this phase of the pillow method as a result of successful completion of phase 4. We both realized that our relationship as family is truly important and to maintain positivity and respect for each other was paramount. We both recognized that each perspective had truth and merits, which led to less concern for individual thoughts and shifted focus to collective understanding and compromises.

At the end of the exercise, I told my brother o give me feedback on the argument that we had and he said, he felt that I handled it better than I normally do. I then professed to him that I was practicing the pillow method on him. We both agreed on how this method gave us new insight as well as develop empathy towards another person’s situation. This method is a great way to enhance effective communication.

Work Cited

1. Ronald B.Adler and Russell F.Proctor II. Looking out Looking in 13th Edition. 2011 2. John Hartley. fast-autos.com. 2012. http://www.fast-autos.com 3. Benjamin, Hunting. Muscle car or sports car. 2011. http://www.autobytel.com/sports-cars/car-buying-guides/muscle-car-or-sports-car-8-exceptional-automobiles-that-blur-the-line-103920/