Arranging a marriage in India
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In the following essay the teacher said give your points of view about the story you have to read. We will read about arrange marriages in India. Nanda who is a teacher in the United States travels to India to research about arrange marriages. Before traveling she was against arrange marriages but after researching into the topic she change her point of view. I agree with Nanda that some of the points of view that will be discussed in the essay are interesting. Even thought this comments about arrange marriages make sense I still believe they take away your right to chose freely. Not only do they take away your privilege but I see this as an act of discrimination and cruelty against women.
After carefully reading the essay “Arranging a Marriage in India” I believe despite all the good reasons they mention about the advantages of having your parents chose whom you will marry is simply cruelty. In the essay “Arranging a Marriage in India” Serena Nanda is a professor which travel from America to India to carry out field studies. While in India, Nanda studied about Indian marriages and how the parents are the ones to choose the bride or bridegroom. At first Nanda was against this but after researching and interviewing different people and friends she had doubts. Nanda found out many interesting point that made sense to her of why arranging a marriage was not as bad as she thought.
Nanda met Sita, who has been waiting over a year for her parent to pick whom she will marry. Nanda ask her, “why would you tolerate such a situation don’t you care whom you will marry” and Sita replied, “of course I care but I am inexperience and I’m sure my parents would pick what’s best for me.” In other words parent knows best. Sita took the time to explain to Nanda that in America girls spend more time worrying about meeting the right person that they have no time to enjoy their teenage life. Nanda thought of this and agree but still kept insisting, how can you marry someone you don’t even know? Why would you marry someone you don’t love?However, Sita amazed Nanda by saying that this would be like an adventure getting to know each other and finding romance together while in the marriage. After all this, Nanda returned to America with a whole different view of arrange marriages. Time passed and Nanda returned to India and kept researching arrange marriages this time she interview many couples whose marriages were arranged. After interviewing them she came to the conclusion that they’ve been married for a considerate time and was still happily married. On the other hand, Nanda had friends in America whose weddings were not arranged that were in the process of a divorce.
Furthermore, after all the research and interviews she had done Nanda found arrange marriages very interesting and excited. Nanda was so excited about arrange marriages that she decided to become a matchmaker herself since she was successful in fixing up dates for her friends back in the United States. Short after deciding this Nanda found an old friend of hers and she happens to be in search of a bride for her son. Nanda offer to help her out with this so she exchanged some words to find out what were the requirements the bride had to acquire. She found out that they needed to know the well being of the family and how related they well in society. For example what was the family business, how many brothers or sisters and what was the dowry the bride had to offer.
After finding out all needed to find a bride she helped her friend find a bride for her son even thought it was not easy. Her friend was real picky in choosing her future daughter in law. They saw many girls but they well either to liberated, fat, or too high class which meant she had too much to offer and this would be a humiliation to towards the family. Even thought all the reasons giving in the above paragraphs about arrange marriages were convincing as I mention at the beginning I still see this as a cruelty.
I believe marriage has been an issue that people have tackle for many years because of different cultural beliefs. Marriage should be about being able to unite with a person that one loves, despite our different cultural beliefs. In other words Marriage is about love and one’s willingness to share a life’s journey together, regardless of whom you chose. I believe everyone is the same; we all eat breath and breed the same way. Therefore we should all have the same rights and privilege to choose whom we want to marry. Marriage is the state of being a married couple voluntarily joined for life. This means you commit yourself to the person you love for a lifetime and like Sita mention you can get to know each other during the marriage and fall in love but this is only a possibility.
In any marriage, certain qualities are required in order to sustain a healthy relationship. Patience, love, understanding, trust and kindness are a few of many helpful attributes that would help create a long lasting marriage. No matter what your reasons for marrying someone, you can make it a successful relationship by simply being courteous and respectful. Any marriage arranged or not has the same probability of getting a divorced.
However, in these cases arranged marriages are mostly to improve the social standing of a family. I see this arranged marriages more like a business negotiation between the family thinking in their well being and in the men’s feeling and they leave the women out. In other words the bride has no saying in the marriage because they are taking away from her family and place in a stranger’s house with a whole different life to which she is accustom. From my point of view this is cruelty, for example is like taking a child away from the only person that raised them and putting them in a foster home with a person they never saw before.
In addition, the bride has to stick to the command of her new family and can’t protest or return to her parent’s house. If she try to leave her husband she would be disowned, divorced is not a choice. Another example of cruelty is the dowry which had to be given from the bride side. Dowry is an amount of money or property given by a bride’s family to her bridegroom or his family when she marries if the family finds it unsuitable their just find a way to get rid of the wife and remarried.
So stand up for your rights choosing your life partner is a fundamental right. You decided whom you want to date or married. Never let anyone treat you like an object that you buy and do as you pleased with it. Everyone has the right to be happy so don’t let anyone chose for you go out and find what you deserve but don’t rush into thing remember good things come to those who wait. In addition, being able to pick whom you want to marry encourages people to have strong family values. A healthy marriage allows people to be more conscious and protective of their surroundings; if and only if the negative viewpoints of different cultural beliefs in society involving marriage issues become non-existence we will all be one big happy family.
Overall My personal opinion on marriage in general is that it’s all relative. If you feel comfortable that you can choose a suitable spouse, which you will be with for a lifetime, then that should be your personal choice to make. However, if you feel that your parents could decide better than you could, then there is definitely nothing wrong with getting an arranged marriage if and only if you make them traet you like a human being not an object wich they can dispose as they want. The most important thing is that you’re happy. It’s not the route you take getting there, but the destination. If you are married your dream mate, then why does it matter how you found them if in any marriage there is always the possibility of getting a divorced whether is an arrange one or not.