Anti-essays – get your revenge

All cat people shouldn’t read this essay, I’m serius – don’t! Because if you do and you are the big fan of cats in human life, a terrible secret will be revealed about your fluffy friends and it can be realy shocking and devastating. So, if you are not sure whether to read this or not, I will give you a glue – don’t! This information has been hidden by certain governmental official forces for a reason. During many years verage people and cats owners across the world were not told about this. The horrifying truth is that our beloved cats are not from Earth, they are special sentinels of an alien nation living somewhere there is space. They were sent on our planet on purpose.

The mein aim is to spy on humans and give aliens information about our species – they can find our weaknesses and use them later during an interplanet attack trying to conquer our planet. They are watching us through the eyes of our cats monitoring our everyday lives and getting information. Well, at least some people think so. This is one of the very popular conspiracy theories which can be found on the Internet. And a lot of people support this idea. But I believe that these are people who just don’t like these fluffy sacks and are tired of their photos on the Internet.

People all over the world adore different conspiracies connected with cats because they are practically everywhere, see everything and control the Internet. Stupid humans! One of the ideas tells that these creatures were sent by aliens to prevent human rice from progressing. In some point, they succeeded. Nowadays, people are too busy posting pictures of their cats on the Internet that they forgot to do something prominent in their lifes. On the other hand, they failed and we, humans, have becomes an advanced race. Nah, I like the first variant better.

And cats still haven’t finished their mission. So all of you, that have cats, pay precise attention to your beloved pets – what they like to do during daytime or night time, how they look at you, what sounds they make and where they usually go. Maybe you will notice something extraordinary that will prove their alien nature or evil intentions. Unfortunately, we can’t say what it is and why they are still here.

This theory has a lot of admirers who believe cats-as-alien conspiracy to be the answer to all human problems throughout the history. And the problem started in the ancient Egypt. Before that time, no one heard about the existence of cats. These were the Egyptians who claimed that cats are goods and should be worshipped and respected.

Where were these gods form they weren’t aware of. These could have been the first aliens on our planet? I think they could but it is really hard to prove.

There was a strange moment – Egyptians couldn’t exported there these animals as it was considered illegal and punishment for disabedince were severe. And if someone killed a cat, his future was doomed. He was killed the same day. They treated cats as family members and buried them on their personal cemetaries with ceremonial respect. This fact could be claimed guilty these animals didn’t manage to conquer the humanity. But my opinion is that the world is already conquered by them. They are everywhere – TV, Internet, books, magazines, and everything else.

And think about the way they purr, isn’t it mesmerizing? I think this is their method to transmit information about humans to space as they don’t have any special organ to make this nice sound. Purring is just used to disguise this transmition. Cats’ appearance can also reveal their alien nature – for instance, have you ever tried to hold cat’s ears back? If no, carefully try to do it. You will see an ideal picture of a typical alien with roundish head, eyes as almonds and small mouth.

Plus, your cat has much better sight and hearing abilities than any other human beans or other animals. Their supernatural abilities allow them to see in the dark and hear even the smallest noises. What about their long stares they give you when you come to the room? Their eyes could be alien cameras recording everything they see to transmit this information later to these suspicious aliens who are watching us.

The last but not the least evidence to support cats’ conspiracy theory and alien origin is their incredible longevity and endurance. They can survive in the most dangeros and life-threating situations without any losses, serius damage, or deadly injuries. Even if they get under the sofa in a very narrow space they rarely stuck there and almost always find their way out. Have you ever got across a story about a cat falling from the fifth flore window? Yes, you have. Just think about all fluffy bastards you have seen falling from windows like apples form a tree.

There a lot of stories about magical powers of these animals and their multiple lives. And how do you thing, how many of such falling cats don’t land on their feet? Well, this should be the negative answer because these animals are great hunters but to be honest these are their alien characteristics that allow them to alter the laws of gravity. I am not sure whether these are the reasons to be afraid of such beautiful creatures – their big glowing eyes in the dark look pretty creepy and malevolent. The choice is yours. Choose the cats even it means the end to our civilizations because they are worth that.