Love vs. Infatuation

Everyone wants to be in love, but very few people know what it means. When someone sees another person he or she is attracted to he or she may think “Oh, my God, I’m in love” but is it real love or just simple infatuation? There is a great difference between love and infatuation, and when trying to determine the difference there are at least three things a person should consider: interest, concern, and endurance.

The first thing a person should consider when trying to decipher the difference between love and infatuation is interest. A person who is infatuated with someone is interested in that person for purely external reasons. For instance, suppose a guy sees a he thinks is “totally hot.” His heart begins to race and his knees go weak, he may think he’s falling in love but in reality he’s falling in infatuation. True love is deeper than that. When a people are truly in love with someone else they are interested in that person’s inner beauty. They care more about that person’s character and personality traits than how cute he or she may look in a pair of jeans. To become infatuated with someone takes only a second, but it takes time to become in love with someone because love is based on more than just superficial interests.

Concern is another way to tell the difference between infatuation and love. Infatuated people are primarily concerned with themselves and how the other person makes them feel. They have a tendency to say things like: “I feel really important when I’m with him,” or “She really makes me feel good.” Notice how many times “I” or “me” is used? Love, on the other hand, is completely selfless. It is primarily concerned in the other person and cares more about making that person happy than having that person make them happy. When infatuated, people are concerned with getting. When in love, people are concerned with giving.

Interest and concern both lead up to the most important difference between infatuation and love; endurance. As previously stated, it only takes a second to become infatuated with someone; therefore, the opposite is also true. Infatuation is very short-lived. Someone could be infatuated with someone else one day and then become infatuated with someone else the next. Love is far more enduring. It lasts longer because it takes longer to get to it. Infatuation reaches its peak in a short time, and then fades away. Love grows stronger with time and can last forever.

There is no concrete, objective way to evaluate love and infatuation; it depends on a person’s own values and standards. However, by contrasting the two, a person may discover that love is deeper, less shallow, and more long lasting than infatuation.