Monsoon Wedding

1. Romantic love as a cultural script has been described vividly in the textbook as well as in the film ‘Monsoon Wedding.’ Various gendered messages that regard physical attractiveness as well as sexual desirability have also been clearly outlined in the textbook and are also quite evident in the video. The understanding of romantic love is significantly directed at women. Women are considered and expected to be more passionate about their beliefs and ideologies about associations and love affairs than men. However, the opposite seems to be true. According to various studies, men are viewed as being more prone to believe that true love has only one chance for it comes once. Men also have the belief that once proper love has occurred, it lasts eternally and further on overcoming various cultural hindrances such as religious distinctions. In most cases, men do believe in love at the very first encounter with a woman, thus reporting being in love before a relationship. Men also suffer most during breakups as they feel more disheartened, lonesome, and sorrowful as compared to their female counterparts who are, in most cases, expected to report feeling joy or relief after a breakup (Locker et al., 2010).

Men are said to fall in love more readily than the female since they put more consideration on the physical attractiveness of the ladies when deciding on whom to love. Men also respond and react fast to romantic love than the female since the cultural script says that the role of men to set off a love affair. Women, on the other side, were traditionally more pragmatic. This is because when it came to choosing mates, they based their choice on the provision ability of the man as well as the man’s romantic state. The cultural norms allowed the females to admit having feelings an issue that made the female develop and appear emotional.

Romantic love has effects on women’s sexual experiences in various ways. Most of the young women, more so of the dominant white cultures, are always exposed to multiple messages that explain and informs them all that love pertains. They also learn that on the numerous ways in which they can get fulfillment and self in men’s desire. Romantic love mainly depends on cultural factors such as beliefs, values, and behavior. Various countries have separation and variations based on culture. In the United States, for instance, religion and social class separate the ethnic and cultural groups. In Africa, girls gain knowledge of different information about femininity and love. This is done by considering the level of their social status as well as their religions (Locker et al., 2010).

Another significant factor in a romantic relationship is physical attractiveness. Men consider ladies with good looks as their prospective partners in many cultures. While men consider the physical attractiveness of their partners, women, on the other hand, mainly consider the men’s earning abilities as well as personal qualities. Both men and women value looks, power in making and personality when looking at their potential romantic partners. When considering romantic partners, the preferences are always related to sexiest attitudes about gender. Women with high scores in compassionate chauvinism are more apprehensive about their prospective partner’s power of earning and resources. In contrast, men with high scores on the hostility of chauvinism are mainly concerned about the prospective attractiveness of their partners rather than men with the sexiest conviction about the role and ideologies of femininity.

‘Monsoon Wedding’ is a film revolving around a family member coming together from various places, generating a profusion of passion for a marriage that had been arranged in Delhi, India. The film revolves around contemporary, customary, practical views on marriage, love as well as the expected morals in a family. The wedding vividly describes the control and position that various cultures have as compared to one another as well as the different opinions that exist in multiple situations. Aditi is getting married through arranged marriage but commits adultery with Vikram. Her fiancé, Hament, however, forgives her immediately. The forgiveness is mainly as a result of the cultural beliefs and practices of where he comes from. Hament lives in the United States, more specifically, Houston, Texas. Growing up in a country that many consider as well-modernized, Hament believed that individual acts could be forgiven, and Aditi’s betrayal was one of them. This surprises Aditi, as the act of adultery would not have been accepted by someone from a strict, traditional country.

Although the two, Aditi and Hament, were raised with a considerable amount of cultures and traditions, they have expressed a notable difference in traditions. The influence that Hament had acquired from the west had made him change the expected outcome of what Aditi thought he would have been. Hament had a powerful connection and love towards Aditi, making him forgive her for her wrongdoing. Hament knew that Aditi was the one for him and needed to be loved well. Although Hament felt a connection towards Aditi, he also had to consider various family factors that governed the selection of a spouse. This is stated by Aditi’s aunt, in which she expresses that it is an organized marriage where both families need one another either for financial or reputational gain.

To further explain the issue of romantic love as a cultural script concerning the different social classes, we get to experience within the movie, the love between Alice, the family’s maid, and Dube the wedding caterer. During half of the film, Dube is unfair and mean towards Alice while she goes above and beyond to be kind and offer her service to him while he works to bring the wedding together. Dube soon realizes the beauty and kind spirit of Alice and falls in love. Before a heart made of marigolds, Dube falls to his knees in the act of love, and eventually marries Alice under an umbrella, in the middle of a bridge while it pours. (Schürer, 2003).

The film proves that love can happen naturally and in unexplainable ways; people, therefore, need to be open enough for it instead of continually searching or hunting for it. The two displays of love were perfectly placed together, making the movie flow evenly despite being filled with various familial issues. This movie shows a very realistic view of the contemporary cultures that exist within India. While religions play a role in everyday life, traditions across religions and cultures are similar but are displayed and expressed in different ways.

2. The textbook examines and explains various reasons why people choose to get married. The decisions in this book have influenced the experiences of multiple women in the video ‘Monsoon Wedding.’ Within our textbook, many different types of marriages are described, as well as marriages seen and practiced within this movie. One thing remains true, people, no matter their social, cultural, or religious status, there are many different reasons why they choose to marry.

For example, some people are enticed by other people’s happy ending, as seen within romantic novels or on television. These stories and shows always appeal to women’s hopes of settling down and having someone to share a lifetime of happiness. Other people also choose to get into marriage as a result of certain social factors such as social classes and ethnicity. Some are also attracted to other people’s physical appearances, including height, facial features, body, as well as age. Another example can be found when looking at religion or personal beliefs. Some religious people tend to marry people who are just as religious as they are. Those who are feminists tend to marry other feminists, as well as those who are conservative marrying fellow conservatives. (Smith, 2014)

There several varieties of marriage in the United States having various patterns. Marriage can, therefore, be grouped into three types, traditional, modern, and egalitarian marriages. The classification of unions is done based on three essential characteristics; the division of authority, the definition of the roles of the couples as well as the amount of companionship, and the shared activities they provide.

In a traditional marriage, the husband and the wife assume specific roles, which gives the husband much authority within their marriage and household. The husband, therefore, becomes the boss or head of the family. He, similar to some areas of government, retains the veto power over specific decision-making responsibilities that would, under normal circumstances, be left to the wife, such as those concerning household shopping. The wife, therefore, becomes submissive and a fulltime homemaker who is, however, not entitled to any form of payment. The traditional marriage establishes a distinct line between the roles and responsibilities of both the husband and the wife. The wife is responsible for the home and childcare while the husband is the breadwinner and sole financial provider for the household. The couples in this type of marriage are rarely close or great friends; thus, the wife finds companionship from other women, and so as the husband finds companionship with men in similar situations (Schürer, 2003).

The marriage between Lalit and Pimmi is an excellent example of traditional marriage. This is evident since it is the role of Lalit, as the head of the household, is to carry out and make all necessary and vital decisions that affect the household. Lalit had the responsibility of financing his daughter’s wedding, an act that, in turn, makes him bankrupt. He experiences difficulties in paying for the final part of the wedding, thus making him feel embarrassed when he is forced to borrow money from his friends. Pimmi, Lalit’s wife, on the other hand, is free from such responsibilities since the primary role of the wife is to take care of the household chores.

In modern marriage, the spouses divide themselves based on being a senior partner and junior partners or near-peer. The current wives work outside the homes, and their work is considered less critical by mutual agreement as compared to the husbands. The husband is the breadwinner, and the wife is helping him out. The wife’s pay is also not to interfere with her roles in the home. In this type of marriage, the husband and wife may be performing the same work in an equal amount of time, but the meaning of their work is treated differently because of the belief that the man is the real provider.

The modern couples stress on staying together, thus sharing their leisure activities. They also discuss husband/wife roles rather than taking these roles for granted, as seen in the traditional couples. Although modern marriage may seem to be of equality as compared to conventional marriage, the uniformity in it is relative.

Aditi’s marriage with Hemant is an excellent example of modern marriage. The couples are seen to be occupying the same position and roles from the onset of their marriage. A day before their wedding, Aditi decides to sleep with her old lover, a married man named Vikram, and confesses the act to Hemant, who forgives her without much ado. The forgiveness shows a clear indication of the nature of marriage the two were to engage in. The act of adultery would be unacceptable under a traditional marriage and could have led to the breakdown of the couple, causing the wedding to never occur. The modern marriage, therefore, allows the two to proceed with the planned wedding since Hemant, who lived and spent years in the United States, was happy with Aditi’s openness and honesty and saw that their future would be great because of it. Because Hemant had spent time in the United States and was therefore shaped by the experiences and cultures of the west, the adulterous act by Aditi hurt him. However, he did not feel as though it was detrimental to their relationship.

Within egalitarian marriages, partners in these types of relationships have equal power and authority in the house. The couples also share responsibilities at similar measures without following any gender roles. Egalitarian marriage was, at some point, rare but is with time is becoming more common. In this marriage, one partner’s paid job is not allowed to take priority over others. The daily household chores such as cooking, taking care of the kids, paying various bills, and running errands are well allocated through the interest and abilities of the couples. This type of marriage, therefore, does not consider that specific jobs should be left to a particular gender. This is a post-gender relationship since the partners have moved beyond gender to define and dictate their roles in marriage. The egalitarian marriage provides the couple with intimacy, companionship as well as mutual respect. Since the egalitarian couples share a great deal, they are likely to understand each other, thus allowing a free-flow of communication and time spent with one another enjoyable (Asoodeh et al., 2010).

3. Tej Puri engaged in certain behaviors that created various specific contexts in which to abuse Aliyah and Ria by drawing upon the research examining perpetrators’ methods of beginning and continuing sexual abuse against a child. Childhood sexual abuse refers to the coercive sexual interaction between a child and an adult. Girls are more prone to sexual abuse than boys. Most of the cases of sexual violence against a child are from people who know and are trusted by the children. Such people include family members and acquaintances of the children. Any child can be abused, and there is a slight difference in the rates of abuse among various ethnic and racial groups (Crawford, 2012).

Abusive families are regularly emotionally distant and unaffectionate. These families are patriarchal with the father given the absolute power of heading the family. In most cases, before the act of sexual abuse occurs on children, the proprietor may buy for the child toys, tuck the child at night as well as taking her out for treats to win the child’s trust and love. After achieving his or her intention, the proprietor may also convince the child that their relationship is a special love secret rather than crime and betrayal of trust (Crawford, 2010).

Sexual abuse may bring severe complications to a child. The effects may be on the child’s emotional, cognitive, and social development. A child may show irrational emotions such as fear of the dark or being left alone. The abuse may later make the child experience depressions and withdrawal. The behavior responses that are likely to be seen in such children include problems in school, bedwetting, nightmares these conditions may later make the child run away from home or even become sexually active at an early age. The survivors also risk committing suicide. The act of sexual abuse may also cause impaired relationships with intimate partners (Wilson and Scarpa, 2015). Sexual violence against children can be reduced by conducting various programs to teach children that they have the right to not being touched inappropriately as well as encouraging them to inform the adults of such cases (Crawford, 2010).

In the film, Tej Puri engaged in certain behaviors that made him create specific contexts in which to abuse Aliyah and Ria. Ria is a cousin to the bride. She represents the strength and independence of women in society. Ria is first introduced as an unmarried woman, but as the film proceeds, we learn a lot about her status and sees her dynamic nature.

We get to understand that her father had died and left her in a situation that exposed her to childhood sexual abuse. Ria, just like many other women in the film such as Aliyah, were victims of child sexual abuse. Ria acts as the epitome of a strong female character. A hint is given at the beginning of the film Monsoon Wedding that Ria was a victim of sexual assault as a child. She explains what happened to her and the trauma she was suffering from. Ria is desperate to save her young cousin from being sexually abused just as she was when she was young. She runs to find Aliyah, and her voice is rushed, causing her to be out of breath while speaking (Crawford, 2010).

Ria finds Aliyah with her uncle Tej Puri and is shocked, as seen by the immediate change in her voice. Ria is then shown with fear in her eyes from being near someone who abused her. She, however, speaks directly to Tej Puri when she is angry and forceful. Ria, together with other people in this scene, show hurt, anger, and pain out of their facial expressions on the incident involving Tej Puri.

Ria faced complicated situations after the death of her father. She was left with her close uncle, who was described as the hero of the family. The uncle abused her sexually, creating severe problems for Ria in the future. Tej Puri’s representation in the film is to express how the issue of child sexual abuse is significant and must be handled appropriately and with care. Tej Puri’s actions are, however, not justified, and the viewers are not made to empathize with him. His back story was exempted, showing us that it did not matter as the act he had committed was not right in anyone’s eyes.