Summary on Will Your Marriage Last

The passage “Will your Marriage Last,” is about a study designed and conducted by Ted Huston on the “ability to forecast whether a husband and wife, two years after taking their vows, will stay together and whether they will be happy.” The study was called the PAIR Project (Processes of Adaptation in Intimate Relationships), and involved following one hundred and sixty eight couples from their wedding day to thirteen whole years after. The author of this specific passage, Aviva Patz, was an attendee of Huston’s lecture after being recently remarried and had the desire to fulfill curiosities of her own.

Huston’s results concluded every marriage would fall into one of four categories: married and happy, married and unhappy, divorced in the early stages, or divorced after seven years. He studied the relations between the two partners during courtship, as newlyweds, and through the early stages of marriage. Each category had a distinct pattern. Unsuccessful marriages failed due to short and rushed courtship, too much romantic bliss, and loss of love and affection. These things all cause a fading dynamic of disillusionment, when lovers put forward their best foot and ignore each other’s and the relationships shortcomings. Fifty six of the divorced couples in the experiment proved the loss of love and affection were more destructive than distress. Huston concluded the key to lasting marriages was stabilization. The longer you were able to stabilize behaviors and roles the better the outcome of the marriage. Couples who are able to maintain composure and see eye to eye have a higher success rate.

Patz was able to walk away from this lecture with confidence in her new marriage. The differences between her first and second marriages were clear. Huston successfully conducted an experiment to predict the outcome of your marriage without having to listen to any bickering between you and your partner at all, for the outcome really has no resemblance on that. The most important thing you must avoid is letting the fire dwindle.